Sam asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm bored of my 3 year relationship, what shall I do?
Hi Sam,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you are bored it could be down to two things- that your relationship needs a boost or that it’s time to go your separate ways. I would suggest talking to your partner first before making any decisions as your relationship might be salvageable if you both try.
All couples go through a patch in their partnership where things are samey and predictable- it’s at this point that you should probably talk to one another and find ways to make it exciting again.
It could be something as simple as taking up a hobby together, schedule regular weekends away, maybe you are spending too much time together and need something that gives you some space from one another. Is it the relationship or the sex you are bored of? If it’s the sex, then perhaps suggest to your partner that you bring some sex toys into the bedroom, or dress up for one another- or do some role play. Couples experiment with lots of different things to bring back that spark and remember why they fell in love in the first place it’s just what suits you both the best.
Perhaps don’t tell your partner that you are bored, as this might make them feel negative about the relationship and shut down to new ideas. Maybe just suggest things you could so to mix it up so you are focusing on the future and the possibilities rather than what you could have had and the disappointment of not getting it.
It is probably worth giving this a go before writing off the relationship altogether as you might find with better communication and some small changes that you are no longer bored with your partner. If it is successful then you will know in future that if you find yourself in a bit of a rut again what it might take to pull you both out of it. However, if it's not then at least you can say you have tried.
Agony Aunt Lucy has worked as a volunteer for Mind and The Samaritans and was a mentor at her university in her third year. She has just completed her Level 2 Counselling Concepts Course at Warrington Collegiate.
tagged in Partner Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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