Troubled Girl asks :

Hi Lucy,

I have been with my fiancé for 5 years and we are getting married next year in August. I have recently connected with someone from work and we are attracted to each other a lot! I am rethinking my current relationship because of this and I don't know what to do. I am attracted to this guy a lot but I love my partner very dearly. I just keep thinking about this guy and we text a lot and flirt a lot. I don't know what to do and I have considered all sorts!

Hi Troubled Girl,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Five years down the line, you might feel less attracted to your partner if the honeymoon period is well and truly over or your love life may have become a little predictable, making you consider another option.

If this is the case then you might be craving the excitement of new attraction and attention that comes with your work man.

It could just be pre-wedding nerves that are making you look more closely at your relationship.

Have you had thoughts like this about anyone else? If so then it could just be an indicator that you both need to try harder in your relationship to spice things up a bit. People can get a taste of the grass is greener, when their wedding is looming.

Perhaps try to make a bigger effort with your man and- if you enjoy the flirting and texting with the other guy then perhaps you could try and encourage your man to do the same. Perhaps this episode has just highlighted the things you miss and want to get back with your partner.

That said if you have been willingly flirting with another man, then it could be a sign that your relationship has run its course. If this is the case then the kindest thing would be to talk to your partner first and make sure everything with him is tied off before starting something with your work man. If not he will only end up getting hurt more if you go behind his back. If you love him then it might be the better move to consider his feelings in this situation too.

What does this other guy want from you? Does he want a relationship if you were to leave your current man or does he just want something physical? It might be worth finding out or you could end up with no one. 


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