Melanie asks :
Hi Lucy,
I don't know what to do. All my friends go on joking about "Beef Curtains" and I have this. I am really embarrassed to become sexually active, but have lost guys because I was too shy to do anything. I hate how it looks but don't want to consider surgery.... I’m just so embarrassed. Help me?
Hi Melanie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
All vaginas look different- there is nowhere that says they have to be a certain size or shape. Some women have larger labia than others. If you find the right guy; not one who prioritises something as trivial as this, then it might boost your confidence to start dating again.
On the whole, men are generally not that bothered about appearances, they are just happy that they are having sex. Not many men, if any, would refuse to be intimate with their girlfriend because her labia is a bit larger than a picture he has looked at or a previous sexual partner. Women tend to scrutinise their bodies a lot more than men and this can leave you feeling worried about things that he might not even notice.
There will always be slang terms for differences in the appearance of body parts on women so try not to take them personally. It’s generally those who have some sort of bodily insecurity that try to shift the focus onto someone else. Chances are if they are not feeling worried about ‘beef curtains’ themselves they will be concerned about another area of their body.
Like you say, surgery is not an option and that is a wise choice. Your labia serve a purpose- they protect the vagina and urethra and channel urine when you go to the bathroom, removing them can cause your body to suffer from infections, bleeding, irritation, nerve damage and decreased sensitivity.
Perhaps search for images of ‘labia’ on the internet and take a look at the range of different pictures showing that they come in all shapes and sizes and hopefully this will reduce your anxiety about being different.
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