Fran asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm having serious issues with figuring out my sexuality. I've only ever had one sex dream and it was about another girl. I also find that I find girls really attractive. The trouble is I also find guys really attractive. I've kissed people from both genders through games of truth or dare and it didn't feel wrong with either gender. I've only ever gone out with one person and it was a guy and it felt okay to be with him but at the same time I often found myself feeling sort of off. Like, he was more into me than I was into him. I just don't know how to feel about it.

Hi Fran,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It could be that it was just that relationship with the guy that was off and it has thrown you. Perhaps try going on a few dates with men and women and see how you feel then but just be honest from the outset.

You could be bisexual, heterosexual or you could be a lesbian, you might never know until you find the right person.

Perhaps try to find someone whose company you enjoy and who you could fall in love with- then go with your heart rather than a label.

Dreaming of the same sex is pretty normal- our dreams explore things for us that perhaps we are too cautious to in real life- try not to read too much into them.

Women do tend to find other women attractive- they are more open about this than men- so it could be that you are simply appreciative of the other female beauty around you.

All I would suggest is trying not to pigeonhole yourself too soon and explore the relationships you have with the people you spend your time with rather than their sex. If you have a connection with someone and you find them attractive then it might be worth seeing where it goes.

If you label yourself early on people ask questions that you might not be ready to answer yet. 

 


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