Mikey asks :

Hi Lucy,

My wife told me in the heat of an argument that she kisses other men whilst out. She immediately retracted it..... This was a couple of years ago. Since then we have been going out more as a couple and with friends and she gets a fair bit of attention, but never seems to push anyone away or make it blatant that she’s not interested. I don't know what to do as it really is eating me up all the time and I'm struggling to put it to bed!!! I have spoken to her about it and she just says 'I don’t know why I said it, I never have, etc.' But.....it’s in my head and I can’t get it out! What should I do? I don't believe she cheats but why would you admit something like that, it’s beyond me!!!!

Hi Mikey,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

People say things in the heat of the moment that they don’t mean to get their partners to sit back and pay attention to them. Perhaps she just wanted some attention from you rather than the other men that you speak of and she thought this was a means of doing it.

If you trust her and you don’t believe she cheats then perhaps talk to her and ask her why she said it. She may know and just doesn’t want to admit it yet. Perhaps ask her if you had said the same how it would make her feel, for this might give her some idea of how much it’s ‘eating you up’.

If you are finding it hard to put to bed after 2 years then perhaps look into some relationship counselling to explore why she told you this if it isn’t true. It seems that you might not rest until the matter is cleared up. Perhaps going out with her as a couple is making it worse because you are more aware of the attention she gets- which could be causing your imagination to run riot. 


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