Mysty asks :

Hey Lucy!

I've been on and off with my boyfriend for near 2 years, breaking up for several months then getting back together. Recently we started speaking again which was nice as we didn't really leave on good terms. I haven't been well, in and out of hospital and other social detachments and he wanted to make me feel better so invited me over for dinner and to talk. I also mentioned that I was moving away abroad for a year in a couple of months and may not be coming back... Anyway we ended up sleeping together and it's like nothing had really changed, we spent the rest of the evening loved up and it was so nice. When I got home, I had a message saying that it was so lovely to see me doing so well and that I should keep in touch. What does this mean? The whole night has just rekindled repressed feelings about him and now I'm all upset again, I'm just so confused... :(

Hi Mysty,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Perhaps this night was a way for you both to say goodbye on good terms. If you are going abroad in a couple of months and not coming back then it would have made a long distance relationship incredibly hard to maintain if more had come of sleeping together, especially if you already had a history of yo-yo dating.

If you spent a lot of your time moving back and forth, in and out of your relationship then maybe that was a sign that for the long term you perhaps don’t work as a couple.

Maybe you needed that night just to make amends and spend some intimate time together so you are not parting on bad terms, like before.

The message could have been genuine- perhaps he is happy that you are doing so well and that he enjoyed your company, however if he wanted more then he might have said so.

Having sex with an ex is likely to bring up old feelings and reopen old wounds, however at least now you don’t seem to have any resentment or anger towards one another.

Perhaps moving away will give you a chance to clear your head and move on to pastures new. Maybe you will meet a new guy or perhaps you will enjoy the freedom of being on your own for a while. Whatever happens, this might be the move you need to help you to leave this 'confusion' and 'upset' behind and start a new life. 


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