Why does he reject me when I initiate sex?

by Lucy Moore | 4 October 2014

Hi Kath,

Agony Aunts on Female First

His family might see that side of him when you are all together, but the likelihood is they have no idea what goes on behind closed doors so they have a limited viewpoint on your relationship.  He might love you, however love is something that you say and show not one or the other and relationships are about being equal and sharing in all areas of your life together.

If he really does love you then he should be open to give and take when it comes to your sex life. If it's all one or the other it can feel controlling and if this is not pre-agreed it can be an irritant in the relationship. You have mentioned that you have told him how you feel but not asked him why he laughs and rejects you when you initiate sex. Maybe pose the question and it could reveal a few things.

Perhaps he does have a tendency to be in control in all areas of his life, if he initiates it then he knows when you will be having sex. Maybe he is nervous of having spontaneous sex and likes to mentally and physically prepare. The laughter could be nervous and to reject you is perhaps the only way to get the message across promptly.

Perhaps if you are not in the mood saying 'no' to sex and ask him how he feels about it when it's reversed. It is not just about the rejection of the sex but for women it can feel like a rejection of you too, so it might worth letting him know the gravity of his actions.

Lucy has worked as a volunteer for Mind and The Samaritans and was a mentor at the University of Central Lancashire in her third year. She has just completed her Level 2 Counselling Concepts Course at Warrington Collegiate.

 

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by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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