Maggie asks :
Hi Lucy,
My best friend has annoyed me and because I stopped spending time with him he hates me. What should I do?
Hi Maggie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like the communication between you and your best friend is not very effective right now.
It seems that if you have an issue with him, you walk away and he takes it to the extreme by claiming he ‘hates’ you.
If you care about him but have had a blip in your friendship, then perhaps ask to speak to him and hear you out. He may not know why you are annoyed with him- so he deserves to know if you want to continue being in his life.
Sometimes you need to spend some time apart in a friendship to have your own space, so there is nothing wrong with needing a break and admitting to that. Perhaps it would help you to be honest with him and clear the air so you can move on.
Perhaps he is dependent on the time you spend together and takes it personally when you don’t have the time or don’t want to spend all your time in his company. If that is the case then maybe you need to set some boundaries or set times and days when you will see each other and not break this agreement unless one of you is having a personal crisis.
In most friendships, they need to be nurtured as well as have excellent communication just like a romantic relationship or they will crumble.
If you want this to get back on track then maybe you need to have an open and honest relationship and the ability to say ‘no’ to time spent together. If you don’t, you could end up in a vicious circle of being insufferably close, followed by regular breaks, with neither of you really knowing why you fell apart in the first place.
tagged in Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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