Sam asks :

Hi Lucy,

How do I stop feeling so left out? My family plan things all the time and say that because they were spur of the moment things or they didn't intend to leave me out and that it is just me taking it personally. This happens frequently and I feel increasingly left out I have spoken to my family about this but they say it’s my problem not theirs.

Hi Sam,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

The most important thing is not to take it to heart. Families make arrangements all the time on the spur of the moment and because it all happens so fast they can become too preoccupied with the arrangements rather than the people going, especially if there are a lot of you.

If you want to be more involved then perhaps tell them whenever they arrange something even if it’s at short notice to ask if you want to go or not. At least that way you will have the choice. If they are arranging something and you are there then ask if you can come along. Try to be more direct with what you want or people might just make assumptions and then you could end up feeling hurt.

Sometimes we have to be forthright in life with people who might not be too sensitive to our feelings or have a habit of being a bit forgetful, so maybe tell them what you want at the time rather than regretting it afterwards.

 


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