Mary asks :
Hi Lucy,
My future husband gives his ex-wife his work rota but doesn't me. They have two children together and I know that access to the children needs to be arranged but I feel this is a bit much. What should I do?
Hi Mary,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you feel second best, then perhaps you should to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Yes- he needs to be flexible where his children are concerned so her can see them as much as he can, however there might need to be more flexibility in your relationship too. If you are going to marry this man then you might need some assurances that you are going to be just as much of a priority in his life as he is in theirs.
If you live together then he may have taken for granted that you need to know when he is coming and going too so you can make plans as a couple. Even more so if some of his free time will already be taken up with this children.
It sounds like there needs to be some better communication between you- perhaps he needs to be more forthcoming with his schedule and maybe you need to tell him that the arrangement you have right now isn't working out for everyone involved. It will be a delicate balance to get right, however if you are open and honest about it, then you should be able to come to some sort of compromise.
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