Janine asks :
Hi Lucy,
Why has my partner started sleeping on the sofa? His dad has for a long time but I’m feeling very alone.
Hi Janine,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This sounds very difficult- that you want to have that closeness back with your husband but don't know why he has moved away from you physically and perhaps emotionally too.
Perhaps talk to him about it and ask him why he wants to sleep away from you rather than with you in your bed. Maybe you could focus on how much you miss him lying next to you and that feeling of intimacy, or tell him that you feel alone.
If his dad has done this for a long time then perhaps he has mimicked this behaviour as a way to mull over his problems so he doesn't burden you with them. Close couples can sense if their partner is uneasy in bed next to them and maybe he didn't want to disturb your sleep.
It could be something to do with your relationship or it could be an issue he is having at work or his general mood. The point is; you won't know what is happening with him unless you talk to him. He may need time to think things through further or he may be at a point where he needs to offload.
If you are feeling alone then it is worth mentioning, however perhaps try to let him have the space to talk without the guilt of letting you down or this could worsen the situation for him.
Top tips for if your partner sleeps on the couch
Lucy has worked as a volunteer for Mind and The Samaritans and was a mentor at her university in her third year. She has just completed her Level 2 Counselling Concepts Course at Warrington Collegiate and has a degree in Psychology from the University of Central Lancashire.
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