Jaquie asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend lost his mum 18 months ago. He is an only child and talks at me; he does not hear what I say. We have not had a sexual relationship for 8 months. He's 40 I'm 54 however he acts much younger (child-like). How do I explain we do not have a girlfriend boyfriend relationship but friendship?
Hi Jacquie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps he is still suffering from the death of his mother. A reduced sexual libido can often be attributed to depression and low moods so maybe you could suggest that he go and see a the doctor to ask for a referral to see a counsellor.
You have mentioned that he talks at you. Perhaps talking to you first might help some- he might just need to get things off his chest- so it could help to just let him. If he has kept his grieving bottled up for so long then maybe it’s time to let it out and help him to explore the emotions he is still feeling. It may seem unfair that you are not being heard, however, people who are suffering from feeling down, often see their own issues before they see others. One way to have him hear you again is to let him clear his mind of his thoughts and that should leave room to take in yours.
You might find that the closer you become emotionally, the more inclined he is to have sex with you, as the two go hand in hand. It’s about feeling comfortable and uninhibited with the person you are with on an emotional level as well as a physical one. Often people feel more vulnerable being totally honest with their partners about what’s going on inside their heads more so than having sex with them.
tagged in Friendship Relationship Mums boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
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