Roxanthe asks :
Hi Lucy,
My husband has been sexting. This woman is in a loveless marriage and had been seeking support from my husband. I did know that she sometimes spoke to him and she has been a family friend for a long time, but I didn't realise they had started sexting. My husband says he’s been a fool and he’s really sorry. He loves me and him wishes he hadn’t done it and is devastated he has hurt me. But I can't get my head round why they were sexting? He must fancy her or is it just a dirty text that he got turned on by and was flattered by?
Hi Roxanthe,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If he is wearing his wedding ring from his previous marriage then it could indicate that he has not let her go yet. Perhaps talk to him and ask him why he feels the need to wear it and how it makes you feel.
His wife might have been a huge part of his life and perhaps not one that he wants for forget about, by wearing the ring along with yours, it could be a constant reminder that he has been fortunate to have two great loves in his life.
If it makes you feel second best or uncomfortable then maybe it's worth being honest with him. How would he feel if you were still wearing jewellery from a previous relationship?
Appropriateness of something within a relationship is a decision best made from couple to couple- if you are able to discuss it and both understand it then you may find that it no longer bothers you. If you feel that it is something that will make you doubt his devotion to you then maybe you need to tell him so.
If he is still not over his wife's death then perhaps he needs some counselling before you marry to discuss how remarrying is making him feel and to help him deal with what and happened in order to move forward.
tagged in Engagement Wedding Ring fiance
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