Paula asks :
Hi Lucy,
My husband is addicted to cybersex and chat rooms. It is ruining our sex life! Help please
Hi Paula,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps you could suggest some couple’s counselling to explore why he finds the need to spend so much time engaging in cybersex. It is normal for men to watch porn and masturbate regularly however if it is encroaching on your intimate time together and he is engaging in virtual sex with another woman then it sounds like it needs to be addressed.
Have you talked to him about how it makes you feel? What if you were the one who was prioritising cybersex with another man over him? How would that make him feel?
If your sex life has dwindled then maybe suggest you watch some porn together? Or exchange in some sexting or dirty talk to keep him away from the chat rooms and focus his attention on you. Maybe try to find out what he likes about them so much and incorporate that into your sex life. Could you dress up for him? Introduce sex toys? Engage in some role play? Or could you have cybersex with each other when you are apart?
It can be easy to take each other and your sex life for granted which could explain why he is using such sites to excess. However with a gentle reminder of what you once had and what you can have again- with added bonuses- then maybe that will make him turn way form the computer screen and come back to you.
tagged in Husband yin and yang agony aunt
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