Kat asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm 41 my husband 51 only been married 4 months but he is not interested in any intimacy at all, I don't want to leave him and he won't talk about it. At wits end- what shall I do?
Hi Kat,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If he won’t talk about it with you, then perhaps he would with a relationship counsellor. Perhaps you could suggest that you enrol in some counselling to help explore why he is not interested in intimacy and how its making you feel.
A reduced libido in men can be due to a lot of things- stress, depression, diet, exercise levels, erectile dysfunction and it can be a sensitive subject to broach- so it might be that he is suffering in silence.
You say you don’t want to leave him but it sounds like you have considered it- could you tell him that it’s made you think this way? If you do it might jolt him into making more of an effort if it’s not down to any of the things listed above or into being more honest.
How were your intimacy levels before you got married? If they have suddenly changed- then it could be due to something that has happened recently, either just before or after the wedding.
Could the reality of the commitment you have made has finally kicked it and it has scared him a little?
Whatever the reason it seems that you perhaps need to find out as four months into your marriage is not a long time at all to start sacrificing the physical side of your relationship.
tagged in Husband married yin and yang agony aunt
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