Susan asks :
Hi Lucy,
My mother is 84 and has just found out she has cataracts but refuses to have the op. My two sisters have said she doesn't have to but I feel she should as she's is going to go blind. The only reason they are telling her not to have the op is that when she does go blind it will be me that’s left to look after her. I’m not well myself as I suffer with COPD.
Hi Susan,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It is ultimately your mother's decision to have the operation or not- not yours or your sisters. She does need to be well informed of the consequences of both options. If you feel she needs some more guidance from a professional then she might need another appointment with her doctor to clarify a few things. But she should not be persuaded one way or the other to suit the rest of the family.
If she decides that she doesn't want the op, then it might be worth having a conversation with your sisters to talk about what will happen if she loses her sight. If you are ill then you cannot be expected to do it all- one of the benefits of having siblings that you can share your obligations equally so that it doesn't fall to one person.
You will only be able to help your mum if you help yourself too as you may be of no benefit to her if you are not looking after your own health first. Try to remember that she has not gone blind yet- so it might be worth tackling the problem when it arises rather than worrying about it before it has.
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