Frustrated asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've got a sexual problem with my fiancé. Basically she loves it when I give her oral, she comes so many times and I spend a lot of time making sure she's happy and satisfied and I love that it makes her happy and turns her on so much. The problem is she doesn't return the favour with as much care and attention I give to her. She will start to give me oral, then stop, start, stop and rarely finishes, she will initiate sex instead of finishing me off orally and she never lets me come in her mouth, she will just give me a hand job until I come on myself or once in a blue moon on her tits, but yet she has no problem coming in my mouth and covering my face in her juices. (Sorry don't mean to sound crude, don't know how else to explain it) Last night I decided to do an experiment. She started giving me oral and then stopped as usual so I never got near the point of coming. So I started to give her oral but kept stopping and never allowed her to come. This frustrated her and we both went to bed unsatisfied. She later said she was just teasing me and was going to finish me off, but I know that she wouldn't and it would have ending up in us having sex and it's annoying when she's stopping and starting when giving me oral, it ruins the experience as she found out last night. Is there anything we can do to fix this? Any help would be appreciated. Kind Regards Frustrated
Hi Frustrated,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Rather than altering how you give her oral- perhaps talk to her about the frustration you feel. If she does it right when she does give you oral- but it's just not for long enough or she won't see it through till the end, then maybe you just need to tell her. It sounds like you enjoy it when she does spend some time on you- just that there are tweaks to be made here. This happens in every relationship as no couple is 100% sexually compatible right away. Your sex life will not improve unless you are open and honest- but make sure you praise her on the stuff she does do well, or she may leave the conversation feeling deflated.
Have you asked her to swallow? If she hasn't tried it before then maybe she has made assumptions about it without really giving it a go. Perhaps you could ask her to do it once and then make up her mind from there. Often the thought of doing it is much worse than the act because once you are in the moment, things like that often matter far less.
It sounds like she is just a little cautious here- it could be down to confidence so if you give her a boost over the things she is doing that are getting you off and work with her on things you would like to change and you should get there with a bit of time and patience.
If you deny her of your usual technique and not talk about it she might assume that something is wrong and you could both go to bed feeling unsatisfied more often- communication is just as important for your sex life as it is in every other of your relationship.
tagged in Relationship fiance
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