A mother returned from her shower to find her children playing in an ''avalanche'' of their own poop.
Laura Mazza took to her Facebook account to give a detailed description of what had gone down when she was having a quick wash while her children were apparently playing nicely downstairs.
She wrote: ''I wanna look good today so I'm going to put make up on and shower at any cost to the s**t storm my toddlers will make during my distracted absence.
''And the absurd anxious thoughts ran through my head of police returning my children after they ran outside naked playing in the lake... But I thought no, you must at least have a w****'s bath to wash the smell of manure and blue vein cheese from your body. Anyway, I emerged from Gremlin to Gizmo out of the bathroom but it seemed that the smell of manure had not left.
''Both kids were giggling in the distance...
''The smell got stronger and stronger as I walked down the hallway, and I noticed small thin light brown streaks on the walls, on the floors...everywhere... And as I walked further the streaks got bigger, and darker and handprints slapped like someone playing whack-a-mole on cocaine.
''Was it my dark foundation that I use when I think I'm Snooki with my killer orange skin? What was it? I see them both, huddled over something, smearing it on their bodies and laughing and licking their hands, chocolate sauce? Please Jesus let it be chocolate sauce.
''IT WAS FULL OF AN AVALANCHE OF S**T. S**t!!!!
''Nector of the anus. The undigested fruits of a toddler. One that doesn't live solely on milk, that eats adult things, ADULT FOOD. There was adult poo smeared everywhere. Poo that was being rubbed on each other and in each other's mouths.
''Sofia had taken off her nappy and decorated the house in her sinful waste...and mate, was she satisfied. And her brother, a willing accomplice to the potty party. 50 short vomits in my mouth, a whole lot of bleach, and an exorcism and I think the house now looks back to normal. This is why I don't take 'me time' because when I do, I'm left with empty dreams and a handful of s**t.''
However, to make matters worse, Laura's house had just been put on the market.