In Too Deep
No one wants to have aged ten years, do they?
Except when I think about where I was ten years ago, compared to now, I’m happy to take the wrinkles along with everything else. Why? Let me explain.
Ten years ago, I was still working as a broadcast journalist, in the sort of job that many people would love. But I’d been doing it for a long time, the same stories were coming round and round like horses on a carousel and there seemed no possibility of getting off. I knew I needed a change, but I couldn’t see a way to arrange one.
I was struggling to find time to write. I had long working hours and two very young children. I heard another author say recently that when he was not writing he was unhappy, and when I look back I think that applied to me too.
The odds against getting a book published – my lifetime ambition - seemed insurmountably large. I thought I was doomed to join the legions of wannabes, always bemoaning the lack of time and opportunity to write and be read.
But things changed in a way that I could never have foreseen. Looking back, it’s now clear that enrolling on a Creative Writing PhD was the turning point for me. It made me realise that there were other things I could do, such as teaching, and crucially that my writing was worth pursuing. So when an opportunity came up to take redundancy from the BBC, I grabbed it and have never looked back. A couple of years earlier, I’d never have dared.
I now have that doctorate and, in large part thanks to that PhD and the decision to cut loose from the job, I have one book published (In Too Deep, with Legend Press) and a children’s book, The Serpent House, due to be published with Curious Fox in 2014. I’ve also found a new skills set in teaching and lecturing.
So in the past decade, I’ve learned to trust that if you take a leap, a parachute will open. Changes happen and things will get better. I wouldn’t go back to where I was ten years ago for anything - now is just fine, thank you. So I may look ten years older than 2003, but I’ve progressed in light years in terms of happiness. And I’m sure they’ll invent a decent wrinkle cream one day!