All That Glitters!
- 1. There is nothing more exciting than seeing your book in the shops
It’s not until you see your book in a shop that the dream really does become real. My ultimate bookshop moment was at the airport – when I walked past a stand with what seemed like hundreds of my first novel, THE MAKING OF MIA. I was dumbfounded … up until that moment I hadn’t quite believed that I really had written a novel, or that people could buy it – but people did. You can’t prepare yourself for seeing your book for the first time. It makes everything real.
2. Success doesn’t feel like what I thought it would
I’d always wanted to be a writer – when I was a kid I wanted to write for Just Seventeen magazine – but I never believed I’d end up doing it. I dabble in journalism, and while I always preferred the idea of doing fiction I didn’t try to write a book until I turned my hand to my first novel. When I finished the manuscript and got my first book deal I couldn’t quite believe it had happened – when you spend your life fantasising about following your dreams and you actually achieve it you don’t quite know how to deal with it. In a way I still don’t. All I ever wanted was to be able to walk into a bookshop and be able to buy a novel with my name on the cover … but now I can do that I’m not quite sure what I’m meant to do next. I’m still trying to work out what my next big dream is.
3. I don’t know where my inspiration comes from
The one question I always get asked – and admittedly dread – is about where my inspiration comes from. Sometimes I scrabble around and try to think of something that sounds suitable, but the honest truth is that I don’t know. As I’ve grown older my novels are less about situations (a girl can’t get a job on a magazine because she doesn’t look the part; what happens when you marry a gay closeted footballer but fall for someone else?), and more about emotions. I’m working on the proposal for my fifth novel, and for the first time in my career I have an answer to the inspiration question - for the idea comes from my life and a situation I’ve found myself in. That’s never happened to me before.
4. I don’t know any romantic fiction writers who really believe in happy endings
Books end … but life doesn’t until we draw our final breath, and often our romantic happy endings turn sour. Many of my closest girlfriends are also authors, and when we’re talking about our tangled, complicated (and sometimes unhappy) love lives we ruefully smile at each other and wonder if stories with happy endings have ruined our expectations for love – and if we’re continuing to peddle that myth. Do happy endings exist? They don’t literally, but I like to think they do conceptually – I appreciate the happy times because new don’t know what’s around the corner.
5. Boyfriends are fascinated by sex-scenes
Potential boyfriends brazen it out and read sex-scenes in previous books to try to work out your love-life expectations. Old boyfriends may look at new sex scenes and wonder who you fucked after them (because they definitely don’t recognise those moves). Men who ‘secretly’ fancy you ask about your sex scenes and wonder how true to life they are … but the reality is that all my sex scenes are purely fictional. Fictional sex is always hot and perfect – but real sex is fumbling, kinky, hilarious and lovely. What works best in bed never quite translates onto paper, and I’d never write that stuff down for complete strangers to read. Why would anyone do that?
People almost always treat me differently when they find out I’m an author
I am unassuming. When people ask me what I do for a living I always say ‘I’m a writer’ and then I change the subject and ask them about themselves. I’m proud to be an author – of course I am – but there’s a moment in a conversation when you tell people you’re a novelist when everything changes. You can see it people’s eyes and they suddenly look at you differently … and you’re no longer just yourself, you’re a name they thought they recognised. You’re ‘someone’. I try never to talk about my job … I like to know that people want to be around me because of who I am and not because of my career. That’s not to say I don’t try to help people out if they want to become a writer themselves, but ultimately I don’t really like talking much about myself in social conversation. I find it quite uncomfortable.
- 7. When I’m on a deadline or in the zone it feels like I’m making myself go mental
There’s nothing more special than being in that zone – when you’re writing something that works and feels perfect; when your writing is the very best it can be. But when you’re in that zone, hours and hours can pass … and before you know it you’ve spent three days without speaking to another person. You end up living more in the fictional world than in the real one, and it’s disconcerting – it’s like you’ve conditioned yourself to live a fantasy, and when you try to re-enter your life it feels stilted, difficult. The fictional world you’ve created feels more real than the one you’ve always lived in, and you have to be able to throw off the emotions and concerns of your characters and be able to rediscover yourself and who you are again. I don’t take drugs because I’m an author; I experience the emotions of all my characters and that's enough of a headfuck for anyone.
- 8. Our books can inspire people and help to change their lives
It was through reading fiction that I realised there was more out there than just staying in my hometown my entire life. CAREER GIRLS by Louise Bagshawe showed me that I could go to University and that I could make something of myself – I read that book as a teenager and before I had I didn’t realise I could do anything I wanted to; I had no idea that a life like that was available to me. When I met Louise I told her how much I’d loved that book, and since then I’ve had emails from readers that have said similar things to me about my books - it’s the most amazing feeling in the world to know that you’ve inspired someone else to think they can follow their dreams. My characters are all women who achieve despite the impossible, and when they inspire girls to do the same it’s probably the best feeling in the world. It’s good to be able to make a difference through fiction.
- 9. People always expect me to be a human version of my books
My books so far have had glittery covers, have been pink and purple and turquoise, and they’re marketed as chick-lit. I’ve so far written the books I loved to read in my twenties … but my readers are always slightly surprised I’m not more like the characters I write about. I don’t wear designer clothes (mainly), I don’t really go shopping, I like to rifle shoot and listen to bad 80s rock music. My novels are unashamedly girly – but I’ve always been a tomboy who can’t walk in heels very well. I may have fallen for the bad-boy, and I’ve also worked hard to get where I am, but that’s where the similarities end.
- 10. Writing is the best job in the world
Hands down, writing novels for a living is the best job in the world. It can be difficult (sustaining interest in the same manuscript for two years as you write and then rewrite and then rewrite again can feel torturous), it can be challenging (especially when it comes to how much money one can realistically make), but it’s also joyful. There’s no greater pleasure than to wake up when you want to, write what you want and when you want to, and then know your words will eventually end up as beautiful books in shops all across the country. Becoming a writer is hard work – it’s not something one can train for, or be prepared for – but the memories of the sacrifices you made to get to this point (having a full time job when you’re trying to write your first manuscript, not seeing friends or family when you’re on a deadline) disappear when you hold your novel in your hands. Creating something special from absolutely nothing is a feeling that can’t be beaten.
Read my interview with Ilana Fox on All That Glitters