Do you ever see posts on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and feel green with envy? Do you wish that you looked as gorgeous as that? That you lived in that beautiful house? That you were on that stunning holiday? That you had that amazing boyfriend? Or that fun social life?

Jo Blakeley

Jo Blakeley

If so, do you know you’re being conned? The pictures show what the owner wants you to see, but it’s not the whole truth. For example, I remember a single friend telling me how she couldn’t bear to look at her married mate’s Facebook page because every day were pictures of flowers, chocolates and romantic dinners that her husband had surprised her with. My friend said that it made her feel sad because it was like a light being shone on her single status. When she later found out that they were getting a divorce - due to her husband’s abusive nature - her illusion of their idyllic relationship was shattered.

So what was the ‘truth’? Was it what the married friend was choosing to post or what my single friend was choosing to focus on?

The answer is neither and both. Social Media is a ginormous spin doctor, just like your brain. Let me explain.

Think about what you pay attention to when you look at posts on Social Media. For me, I find my eyes drawn to slim legs and thighs while another friend hones in on slim stomachs. Why? The answer lies in what’s going on inside our heads. I have a pear-shaped figure and so aspire to wear shorts with pride (so what do I ‘see’ and not ‘see’?). My friend with an apple-shaped figure would love to wear cropped tops (so what does she ‘see’ and not ‘see’?).

What do you pay more attention to? The answer will reveal what you currently want in life. Using my earlier example, my friend clearly wanted a relationship with a man who would treat her like a princess.

While you might label the act of lusting over something you don’t have but would like ‘envy’, I see this seemingly negative emotion as highly valuable. This is because jealousy highlights what it is that you currently want in life. So every time I ‘see’ a woman with toned, slim thighs, I use my envy to motivate me to go to the gym or to not put that piece of chocolate cake into my mouth.

The reason I’m telling you all this is two-fold. Firstly, I want you to know that there is no such thing as the ‘truth’ where Social Media is concerned. Take me for example, I have recently posted pictures of our new house, which is so big that I am able to deliver training courses there. While I love the house and feel very lucky to live there, it is not without its challenges.

For example, we had no hot water or heating for the first three days (and it was COLD!), we didn’t have any internet (or TV) for ten days, and there is only one spot in the entire house which gives one bar of mobile reception. On a more personal note - and something which is breaking my heart - is that our son (who’s five) has developed severe separation anxiety ever since we moved. It’s so bad that he won’t go anywhere without either me or my husband, not even the toilet. I haven’t posted pictures about that!

Secondly, I wanted to extend this lesson to the brain to help you understand that there is no such thing as absolute ‘truth’. There is only what you choose to ‘see’ and what you choose to ‘see’ is based on your beliefs, values, past experiences and attitudes among other things. If these things are positive, you will ‘see’ the world through rose-tinted glasses, but if these things are negative, you will ‘see’ the world through crap-tinted glasses. Unfortunately for the human race, we’re programmed to negativity bias, which means that you will have an innate leaning towards crap-tinted glasses. This is why what I teach is so desperately needed by everyone who ‘sees’ the world negatively, because this is not the ‘truth’ just your version of it. Change your mind to ‘see’ the world through rose-tinted glasses and you can change your life.

So next time you look at others’ posts on Social Media, take it with a pinch of salt, use it to propel you towards what you want, and wonder what things they’re not telling you. Then be curious what other things in the world you’re ‘seeing’ in this way and how it’s negatively affecting you.

If you want to learn how to ‘see’ the world through rose-tinted glasses and have a fighting chance at producing positive results in your life, why not try my online or face-to-face courses which teach you how to do this? Go to for further details