My previous role working with people in recovery from addiction, whether it was class A drugs, alcohol or self-destructive behaviours, presented obvious challenges; safety, trust, relapse, but what I hadn’t been prepared for was the way it would change how I thought about myself and my life.
The Lake
As a Work and Learning Coach operating out of a small homeless charity in Southwest England, my role was to help people who were experiencing homelessness to gain the knowledge, skills and opportunities to find sustained and meaningful employment that would help them get off the streets.
Coming from a somewhat protected suburban, working class background myself, meant my first foray into a homeless hostel was terrifying, but I soon learned that a smile, and treating people with dignity and respect went a long way to establishing positive relationships.
Whether working with ex-offenders, sex workers, those in recovery or active addiction, establishing an atmosphere of trust and good will, was a good first step. Because of their multiple complex needs, many of our clients had been barred from traditional forms of support and this was often their last chance. What that offered however, was an openness and willingness to look at themselves in a new light. A large part of the self-development training offered at the charity centred around clients exploring themselves in an honest and open way. No short cuts, no excuses.
They were never afraid to go there, to talk honestly and openly about their past and current behaviours, and then look at new ways to move forward positively into their futures. These clients had already been judged, marginalised and ostracised by most of society, so pilling on the criticism wasn’t going to work. Helping them to recognise and address issues with positivity and compassion meant we weren’t expecting them to fail, but rather gave them a sense of our investment in their success, no matter how small. It also created an atmosphere of care and mutual respect which did a lot to improving self-esteem and an optimistic attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of difficulties along the way, including relapse, re-offending and return to prison, but there was also a lot of love, laughter and success too. On a personal level this experience led me to look into a new way of thinking about myself and my life, how a compassionate approach can be far more effective to personal growth than judgement or self-criticism. It also allowed me to address some of my own past difficulties in a new light. I have since taken this approach with me into future roles, and with most of my personal and professional relationship. I think Plato may have said it best over two thousand years ago. ‘Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.’
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