Clarity Breeds Confidence
When we are in touch with our Purpose we know ourselves deeply. We know what's important to us, what we love and... what turns us on body and soul. Clarity of Purpose means you know what you want and you attract the people who resonate with that. It sorts out the wheat from the chaff. And that's empowering. Clarity breeds confidence.
There’s no Mr or Ms Right
There are plenty. There are 7 Billion people in the world. How many of them are right for you? Who knows but probably several hundred thousand. Have you ever eaten something new and been surprised by how good it tasted? There are lots of foods you could find delicious. Why does there only have to be one person? Bon appetite.
Bin the lists
Most people have a list in their head of characteristics they would like their ideal partner to meet... he's got to be this tall, she's got to be interested in this.... So when we meet someone and we have this list going on in our heads we're not actually with the person on the other side of the table, we're stuck in the list.
Your list is like having a photoshopped version of a person in your head. Would you want to be compared to a photoshopped model in a magazine. Also, when you're listening to this inner chatter, it's a bit like talking to someone who's playing with their phone - you're not really there. Bin the lists. Photoshopped people are not real.
You are the diamond
If we’ve been dating for a while and we’ve lost a bit of confidence it’s easy to start thinking “I have to change. Maybe I need to look more like this…. Perhaps I should appear more like….” Etc You fill in the blanks. You don’t have to change. You’re perfect. The deeper you go within yourself the more of your inner diamond you see. It’s not the diamond that needs to be different in any way we just need to get rid of the stuff that we put on top. Stop paying attention to the stuff that obscures the diamond and focus on the bit that shines.
I don’t mean physically, I mean in the way a magnet attracts iron filings. Focus on the experience and feelings you would most like to have in a relationship. If it makes it easier you could focus on the qualities a possible partner might have eg passionate, caring, kind as opposed to traits such as tall, blond, blue eyes. You only focus on the qualities to see how they make you feel. Make that as real as you can for yourself and live that, experience that, now. The more you live it, the more attractive you become to the experience. It’s like a fitness programme for a ‘love-athlete’.
Einstein said “ I have no special talents, I am just passionately curious”…. and he dated Marylin Monroe! Don’t let yourself be fixed about what your ideal partner is like, what you need, what you want etc, just be passionately curious about what you might love. It’s amazing how many new possibilities show up when we’re like that.
Your love is yours.
I fell in love with someone in 5 minutes. Literally love at first sight. I had been in plenty of relationships but this hit me like a thunderbolt. I had never felt that depth and totality of experience. She ended the relationship a few months later and I was devastated, lost. I was consumed with the thought that “this feeling of love comes from this person. I’m never going to feel that again” thought made me despair. Sometime later I was directing children in a play. Before the big performance, one of the girls came up and gave me a huge hug. For a fleeting moment I felt that same totality of love. It was completely innocent and… not attached to a romantic love. I realised in that moment that “the love I feel does not come from someone else, it is inside me. I am the gatekeeper. It’s my love”.
Your love is yours. Nobody gives you your happiness. It is inside you and it always will be. Bring it out whether you find the right person or not. It’s your soul.
Richard Jacobs’ - The 7 Questions to find your Purpose
For more processes and questions to help you live your Purpose in work and out go to Facebook and search the7questionstofindyourpurpose.
The 7 Questions to Find Your Purpose is available to buy today from Amazon and all good book stores.