Amanda Kloots thinks her grief for Nick Cordero will be endless.
The 40-year-old presenter's husband died from complications from COVID-19 in July 2020 aged just 41 and though she feels like the Broadway star is always watching over her and their two-year-old son Elvis, she still feels the pain from her loss and knows it will never go away, although it will lessen slightly with time.
Speaking in a panel discussion with her friend Kelly Rizzo - whose husband Bob Saget died in January - Amanda said: “You know how you peel off an onion and it makes you cry?
“I feel like grief, why it never ends is because we continue going on through life, right? So if you think about it that’s your grief, that onion.
“I’ve felt like Nick has been like right beside me cheering me on the whole time.
“Every time Elvis does something cute and I wish Nick was there to see it, that’s like peeling off a layer and it makes you cry.
“When Elvis gets married one day, it’ll be another, like, five layers that I’ll peel off.
“When your person dies, a lot of people will say, ‘Don’t worry. In a year you’re going to be so much better.’
“And you are, in a way. But it I wish somebody would say, ‘Don’t worry. Grief never ends, and it’s okay. It will always make you cry, because that person will always hold a special place in your heart. It’s not going to go anywhere. You just learn how to grow around that grief.’”
The 'Talk' presenter thinks she gets "signs" from her late husband.
She said: “Still to this day I get signs from Nick.
“I ask him directly, ‘Send me a sign.’ And then he does.”
She said she once told him to be “super specific” and asked his spirit to show her the word believe.
Amanda claimed he delivered on her demand when she was driving her son Elvis away from one of her friend’s houses.
She said: “In her yard right by the garage door is a sign – like a yard sign – and it says, ‘We,’ and then in all capitals the biggest word on the sign: ‘BELIEVE,’ and then ‘that all lives matter.’
“It was a Black Lives Matter sign… this was like a unique sign that I’ve actually never seen anywhere else, and literally the second word, in all capitals, is the word ‘BELIEVE’ and then everything else is tiny.
“I did a double take and I was like, ‘Oh my God! Okay. Okay, I hear you!”