Christina Aguilera has described 'The Voice' an "energy sucker" that she longed to escape from.
The 37-year-old singer was a coach on the pop star search show for six seasons between 2011 and 2016 but has now claimed she wasn't allowed to be herself on screen and longed to leave.
Speaking to Billboard, she said: "I was longing for freedom. I would just take everything off - the make-up, all of it - and would blast hip-hop, or Nirvana, 'Creep,' Slayer. Anything like that to get me out of that zone, that TV mode."
Quizzed about her time on the show the 'Liberation' singer insisted she would rather talk about "positive things".
But she confessed: "It became something that I didn't feel was what I had signed up for in season one. You realise it's not about music. It's about making good TV moments and massaging a story. I didn't get into this business to be a television show host and to be given all these [rules]. Especially as a female: You can't wear this, can't say that. I would find myself on that show desperately trying to express myself through clothing or makeup or hair. It was my only kind of outlet."
The 'Beautiful' hitmaker - who is mother to 10-year-old son Max from her marriage to Jordan Bratman and three-year-old daughter Summer with fiancé Matthew Rutler - is excited about expressing herself again on tour, but nervous about being on the road as a mother.
Christina said: "Touring is so frightening to me, because I am a mom first. It's part of why I stayed in the position I was [at 'The Voice']. It's easy to get comfortable and cushy in the same place and not have to worry about uprooting your kids. I've been putting myself on the back burner."
But she added: "It needs to happen. I'm looking forward to getting back out and actually showing my kids what Mommy really does!"
The 'Accelerate' singer admits she is a different person on stage to the mother her kids know at home.
She said: "When I'm onstage, there's not a bigger high, when I'm in connection with my voice and my heart and my soul. But at the end [of a performance], I want to wipe it all off, get in my sweatpants, make silly noises with my kids and have someone comfort and cuddle me."