Jennifer Hudson says attending the trial of her mother, brother and nephew's killer was one of the worst things she ever had to go through.
In 2008 her mother Darnell Donerson, brother Jason Hudson and nephew Julian King were all killed in a horrific gun attack by her former brother-in-law, William Balfour but Jennifer, 32, admitted reliving their deaths at the trial was almost worse than the original tragedy.
She told the Observer magazine: "In many ways the trial was the most dreadful part of it all. But again I know my mother would not have wanted us to miss a beat, so we were there every day.
"I wouldn't wish it on anyone to have to experience anything like that, but that is what you do for your family, so that is what we did...
"I have definitely seen the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. You don't know how strong you are until you are placed in that kind of moment."
William received three life sentences in July 2012 following his conviction for gunning down her family members.
And Jennifer revealed the tragedy has changed her completely.
She said: "If I close my eyes, I can almost remember what it was like, what I was like, 15 years ago. I was at home in Chicago, still in high school, singing in church, living with my family.
"But generally, no, it feels like another Jennifer life. I don't look the same. I'm a mother now. So many things have changed. I sometimes think the only constant is my voice. That hasn't gone away."