Kerry Katona is terrified of getting married.
The former Atomic Kitten singer feels so "sick" at the thought of walking down the aisle with Ryan Mahoney she sometimes wants their nuptials to be "cancelled" because she's experiencing "massive anxiety" as a result of her failed marriages to Brian McFadden, Mark Croft and the late George Kay.
She told MailOnline: "My first husband left me for somebody else. My second one was my drug dealer. And my third one beat the s**t out of me. So, yeah there is massive anxiety – they all failed.
"Not that Ryan is anything remotely like any three of them put together. Not an ounce of any of them. But you just start to think 'It must be me.'
"'I kept thinking, 'I hope [the wedding] gets cancelled. I hope it gets cancelled.' Honestly, I had this massive fear…it made me feel sick...
"It turned my stomach thinking about a wedding and walking down the aisle in front of all of those people again. I thought, no. I can’t think of anything worse."
Despite her nerves, Kerry and Ryan are still planning to marry but they haven't yet set a date to "hop on a plane" for a "quick and easy" ceremony in Las Vegas, which the 40-year-old mother-of-five doesn't think will feel like a wedding.
She said: "I want a marriage not a wedding and in my eyes I’m not having a wedding because I’m just going to Vegas.
"When we can go, we’ll hop on a plane and pop off but there’s nothing in place. No date, no nothing.
"I'm looking forward to skipping the wedding but having that eternal ever-lasting love."
Kerry thinks her relationship with Ryan is different to her past loves.
She explained: "The difference with me and Ryan is, I’m the one who relies on me for my happiness. I have to be.
"Ryan enhances it. Ryan adds to it. You need someone that doesn’t take away from it. That’s exactly what I have.
"He’s got such a long fuse, he’s so laidback, so kind and such a gentle soul... . It was a real slow burner for me and he’s turned into being my best friend."