Michelle Heaton's counselling

24 July 2018

Michelle Heaton turned to counselling to help her deal with her double mastectomy.

Michelle Heaton

The former Liberty X singer thought she was "absolutely fine" after having the mastectomy and hysterectomy - which she chose to have after finding out she had the BRCA2 gene, which can cause breast and ovarian cancer- but soon realised she was struggling.

She said: "At the beginning of the journey, counselling and therapy was automatically offered. But, me being me, I thought I would be absolutely fine. But I wasn't fine. Then four years later ... It took me writing it down and reading it out loud to realise I was struggling and I still am. It doesn't matter when you seek help, just seek help. I think when I wrote the book, [I realised] there is no end, there is no full stop. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, what's going to happen to Faith and whether she will decide to take the test or not. I have a long wait. When she's 18, we will know."

Whilst it has been hard for Michelle to open up, she finds talking really helps.

She added: "What I've learnt ... is to open up and talk about what I've been going through. To be able to do that, I needed that outlet and it's not so easy to talk to your loved ones or your mum or dad or your partner as you see the pain that is beneath their eyes as they don't know how to help you. But sometimes you don't need help, you just need someone to listen."

However, Michelle knows it is is difficult for her children - Faith, six, and Aaron, four - as she can't really explain to them what has happened.

Speaking to Christine Lampard on ITV's Lorraine, she shared: "The worst thing is that my kids are not really understanding why Mummy may be crying or why I shout or I'm quiet and my husband doesn't know what to do because he hasn't got the answers ... Sometimes I just want to talk to someone who has no connection to me. The main priority is to not judge and to listen. Put away your phone. I like to listen and I like to give advice, sometimes too much advice."