Ulrika Jonsson was living in a "sexless marriage for nearly a decade" before splitting from Brian Monet.
Ulrika Jonsson
The 51-year-old television presenter announced last month she is filing for divorce from the advertising executive, and has now said part of her decision was influenced by their lacklustre love life, which saw them only sleep together once in eight of their 11 years of marriage.
She said: "Nearly two years ago, just before my 50th birthday, I remember thinking I might have to just accept that I would never have sex ever again.
"The reason I thought this is because I had not had sex for four and half years. And the time before that was four years prior. I was living in a sexless marriage for nearly a decade. That just didn't feel right. It felt unnatural and as if part of my life was over.
"This may sound dramatic or you might not think it sounds like much of a sacrifice when you consider what some people are forced to endure, willingly or unwillingly, in relationships. But for me, the prospect of living without intimacy for the rest of my life did feel like a terrible waste and such a loss."
The 'Gladiators' star - who is mother to Cameron, 24, from her first marriage to John Turnbull, Bo, 19, from her relationship with Marcus Kempen, Martha, 14, whom she has with second spouse Lance Gerrard-Wright, and Malcolm, 10, with Brian - went on to say their lack of physical intimacy left her feeling "rejected and confused".
She added: "It made me, as a woman who has always enjoyed affection in relationships, feel rejected and confused, especially as there had been a really great sexual attraction between us when we met.
"It wasn't that I was gagging for sex, but I wanted to feel I was loved. I wanted to be touched here and there, to let me know that I was still all right for an old bird.
"The fact that intimacy between us was a barren land was, I felt, a damning indictment of all our issues. I felt bereft and rejected and utterly perplexed. Despite me constantly questioning how we'd got here, I never got a response, no reasoning and there was no empathy."
And Ulrika says her confidence took a knock too, as when she began going through the menopause she felt "sidelined and alone".
Writing in a lengthy essay for The Sun, the TV star said: "Only having one sexual encounter in eight and half years, coupled with me starting to go through the menopause six years ago, couldn't have made me feel worse about myself. I put on a bit of weight, lost my memory, struggled with confidence and knowing who I was.
"At that point I would have been buoyed by some affection and chosen some empathetic words along the lines of how much my husband loved my growing a**e. But like many women, I ended up dealing with the menopause on my own and I felt sidelined and alone."
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