Have you ever taken revenge on someone and, if so, how? I pissed in their drink for making me eat brie!!

Watch the first episode before its on TV at Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Were you to write a self-help book, what would the title be? How to help yourself!! What was your favourite book to read as a child? It was a 'choose your own adventure' book (I don't know the title)

What are your phobias?
Polystyrene egg boxes and rubbing balloons (the sounds make my teeth grate)
Describe yourself as a lonely hearts advert...
Lonely... Fancy a shag?!
What was the worst job you ever had and why?
In a factory, picking orders for companies.
If you could hire someone to do a job for you, what would that be?
Blow!!
Have you ever been attracted to a teacher/tutor and, if so, who were they?
I fancied my P.E. teacher, Mr. Eliot (only joking, her name was Miss Butler)
Have you ever made your own clothing? What was it?
I slashed some jeans once in my Bros stage!
Give us a good statistic...
Men think about sex every 6 seconds (well, I do...)
If oranges had never existed, how would you describe their colour to someone?
A mix of yellow and red!!
What was the first record/album you ever bought?
"Frankie" by Sister Sledge.
If you were to write a musical about a famous person's life, who would you base it on and why?
Stevie Wonder: he is simply the best!!
When you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing you smell?
My fingers (I'll leave it there!!)
The Darkness clearly believe in a thing called love - do you?
Yes.
Predictive texting - good or evil?
Evil (I hate it)
Have you ever blown something up in a microwave and, if so, what was it?
No, I'm not stupid!!
Do you have a recurring dream?
Not at the moment.
In your opinion, which is the best track Tom Jones ever recorded?
Green, Green Grass of Home. (I don't really care) Facial hair - good or bad? Good (on a man)
David Beckham. Discuss.
He is a great football player with probably the best right foot in the world and the worst wife!! You turned down a pop career because you didn't want to sing cover versions - have you written many of your own songs? I have been writing songs for years now - I have lots of songs.
Which pop star in the history of pop music would you most like to have been?
Michael Jackson.
If you could teach the world to sing in perfect harmony what song would you teach them?
'Something Inside So Strong'
Do you have a porn cupboard at home? Or perhaps a porn hard drive?
No, my mum comes round too often.
Gaz is quite a kinky man - how kinky are you?
Very, I'm up for anything!
What else are you doing, besides Two Pints, in the near future?
A drama for the BBC - with Steve McFadden.
What would be your dream acting job?
A film about boxing!
If you could star opposite any actor who would it be?
Robert De Niro.
To prove you're from there, name three cool things about Manchester:
Man Utd, Man Utd, Man Utd!!

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps BBC 3 26th March