Character comedian, Kat Bond imagines her ultimate fantasy Edinburgh Fringe day...and her worst nightmare day.

Kat Bond

Kat Bond

Fantasy day       

08.00 - Get up despite being up til 3am, as I don't need much sleep.

8.30 - Have my own en-suite so nip in the shower without a queue.

9am - Eat a breakfast of fresh fruit to really kick start the day.

9.30 - Go for a jog around the city to get myself physically and mentally prepped to perform to my sell-out room. 11.00 - Go see some shows - mainly world theatre just to really expand my mind. 12.00 - Eat healthy lunch mainly green things.

1pm - Meet director for notes. Doesn't take long! He's crying with happiness.

2pm - Go and do a perfect a really articulate interview in which I really think you show my personality and sell my show.

4pm - Go sit and mentally and physically prep for show, drinking and eating just the right amount to feel present and 

5pm - Deep in an enlightening meditation 

5.45 - Do show it's a corker!

6.45 - Celebratory champagne with new chums until early hours.

Worst Nightmare Day 

8.00 - In bed. 

10.30 - in bed.

11.00 - Go see some shows - mainly world theatre just to really expand my mind.

11.00 - Rise slowly and check phone immediately in a panic. Turn to see my roommate (sharing because it's cheaper) snoring. Isn't she supposed to be in a children's show at midday?  

12.00 - Wait for shower - with 9 roommates this can take a long time.  

1pm - Have a cold shower. Run out of shower gel.

2pm - Eat some cereal with questionably dated milk. 

3pm - Go pick up your flyers - it's raining you've sold one ticket and that's your uncle Dave who funded this whole affair.

4pm - Get trapped in conversation with an overly enthusiastic student group doing Macbeth the musical.

5pm - Eat a burger despite being vegan for 3 years. 

5.45 - Do show it's a duffer. 

6.45 - Miserable double whiskey with uncle Dave who asks for money back.

7.00 - Go back to bed.

8.00 - Bed. 

9.00 - Eat a pot noodle in bed.

10.00 - Bed.

11-3 - In bed open mouthed having anxiety dreams.

Kat Bond's debut solo Edinburgh Fringe show, 'Loo Roll', will be at the Pleasance Courtyard (Pleasance That) 2-28 August at 5.45pm, for tickets go to https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/kat-bond-loo-roll