We hear about gay rights, trans rights and the right for people to use alternative pronouns all the time, but one thing we do hear very little about is issues surrounding bisexuality. Bi-erasure is the idea that people try and ignore the existence of bisexuality by dismissing it as a phase or even as indecision. Proof of this is how many bisexual people in history have been re-written as gay, such as Freddie Mercury, because of pure lack of understanding.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
On bi-visibility day, we look at some of the most irritating things bisexuals hear on a daily basis:
1. "You're only bisexual because it's trendy."
It's true that more and more celebrities have come out as bisexual over the last few years, but that doesn't mean it's "trendy". Hopefully, it just means that the stigma surrounding bisexuality is being gradually broken down. Certainly for a lot of us, coming out as bisexual had a profoundly negative impact on our social standing.
2. "You're in a straight relationship so you must be straight."
You don't change your sexual preference just because you're in a relationship with one gender. As long as you maintain the capacity to love men, women and everyone in between, you're still bisexual. It's true that people do sometimes prefer to shed the bisexual label and dismiss their previous attractions as a phase, but that's far from the norm.
3. "You're just greedy."
Being bisexual does not mean you want to have lots of romantic partners at once. And even if we do want that, it's not like we're keeping all the hot people in the world captive in our basements so that nobody else can have them. Conversely, being bisexual also doesn't mean we are less fussy about who we have relationships with.
4. "Does that mean you're up for a threesome?"
Seeing straight men's faces light up when you casually mention that you're bisexual is just the worst, second only to the statement that shortly follows. The answer is no, we don't want a threesome with you. We have better taste than that.
5. "You must have a lot of sex."
There seems to be this myth that bisexuals have more people to choose from and are therefore very promiscuous. Unfortunately, there are too many people in this world who disappoint us by coming out with insulting comments regarding our sexuality, so a lot of us have a hard time trusting people. And anyway, our sexuality doesn't dictate our sex drive.
6. "Which do you prefer?"
We don't prefer a particular gender. That's the point. Some bisexuals will admit that they tend to be more often attracted to one gender than another, but that doesn't mean we find a certain gender more attractive individually.
7. "So you're allowed a boyfriend and a girlfriend?"
Yes. we're allowed a boyfriend and a girlfriend. But not because we're bisexual, because it's 2019 and we can live our lives how we choose. On the other hand, we do have the capacity to choose a monogamous relationship despite being bisexual, and find it just as fulfilling and exciting as anyone else.
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