We are all feeling it at some sort of level right now. Disappointment is a hard fact to swallow.
It gets stuck in your craw. It's not the outcome you wanted. You'd only just pulled yourself together after one shock then wammo another one comes along and pulls the Axminster out from under you.
It triggers that tantrumming inner child that goes wild at the injustice that there's such a thing as wind or Justin Bieber and you want to kick your heels and rend your flesh and let out a blood curdling “it's not fair” into the howling vortex of nothingness.
Well, you know what I mean.
Whether it's Brexit or having the hump over Trump, seeing someone with the charm of a cold sore getting the breaks at work or the six week tofu and turnip torture detox that gained you 3 pounds – life, it suddenly dawns on you, sometimes sucks.
We know that as grown ups. We know that the breaks aren't even and that the goal posts move but we grit our teeth and snarl “yes but we don't have to like it!” - as if that makes any difference.
No you don't have to like it but accept it you must. You can take it on the chin or let your chin drop and let the corners of you mouth set into cynicism and defeat.
Many people who have trial sessions with me confess they have trouble trusting after past knock backs, have doubts things can turn around when it's been tough for so long and find it hard to believe it can be any other way.
Blame, withdrawal, hurt, disbelief, incredulity, anger and bewilderment are often the by products of disappointment so allow them in as part of a natural response.
And here's the pay off. If you can learn, grow, gain wisdom and eventually strength from the blow it's better than anything Estee Lauder or Jack Daniels can ever offer.
In the meantime here's a few tips to go from dip to dazzle:
- Let it out. Rant, rage, scream, yell and expunge it in every way. Write a letter to your disappointment and say to it everything you are feeling. Keep doing this until there are no words left or rancorous feelings.
- Try to practice urgent patience. Don't rush in to make rash and rapid decisions or make knee jerk conclusions. Give it time. Let it settle. Observe and learn. Often when things don't turn out we can be relieved in retrospect. Something different or better emerges. Wait a while.
- If it was something you were aiming for but didn't get what do you need to change? If it wasn't in your control try to remove self blame for the outcome.
- Remember you always have a choice – to be victor or victim. Choose wisely.
- Accept that disappointment is a natural part of life. No one has 100% plain sailing. Resilience and bouncebackability is the key
For more tips visit www.realcoachingco.com