By Jennifer Hakim, founder and director of Jennifer Hakim Communications, a marketing and PR agency for mindful businesses.
Nurture these friendships as they will all lead you to your best self.
The first thing I did when I decided to start up my own marketing and PR agency was talk to my friends about it. I shared my big announcement, my excitement, my doubts, my fears and I was greeted by much-needed words of pride and encouragement. I learned very early on in my career that female friendship can be a huge driving force, especially at times when you no longer know what your worth is. Sometimes you don’t realise how much talent and potential you’ve got until you hear it from your close group of friends. And their own stories will inspire you too: the one sticking to a job she hates, the one who just asked for a big raise, the one who changed careers, the one writing her first book. They all have something to teach you. Here are a few of the lessons I learned from my girl friends when I started my own business:
You Owe It To Yourself To Make It Happen
It is a sad truth, but it’s true nonetheless: Women still don’t have it easy in the workplace, and must work harder to reach their goals. So if you want to reach your goals, you need to put in the work, and fast. It is the duty you owe to the little girl you were, dreaming about her future high-flying career, and to the student who spent so many nights writing papers no one would remember a year later. I remember looking around the office during one of my first days as a PR executive a few years ago, and thinking it was going to take me at least 20 years to get to director level. After a few years I decided to create my own luck and went the freelancer route (the best decision I’ve ever made). When I couldn’t take on any more work on my own, I launched my own PR agency, repeating my girl squad’s mantra over and over: “If you don’t do it, no one is going to do it for you. Or worse, someone else is going to do it before you do.”
You Should Invest In Your Business Before Anyone Else
Need money for your business? Don’t just hope your invoicing will be enough to cover your costs, jump right in and invest your own cash. This wasn’t obvious to me when I first started designing my business idea, but a big brainstorming session on a girls night made me realise how wrong I was to leave myself out of the investment plan. If you expect others (clients, staff, friends) to believe in you and your business, you must believe in it a billion times more. If you refuse to invest at least a bit of your own money in your business, it may be because you feel deep down something isn’t right. Rewind and reassess your business plan so you can feel 100% confident it will work.
Your Friends Will Believe In You Even When You Don’t
There are times where you’ll get overwhelmed by the pressure of starting your own business, and will anxiously doubt every idea you’ve ever had.
This is where girl friends come in, with their knowledge bank of every dream and success you’ve ever had, and a selection of your most popular quotes to make you see the progress you’ve made. Starting a new business is exciting, but it’s also lonely and nerve-wracking. When your nose is so close to the bigger picture that you can’t see it anymore, and run out of ideas, this is when your squad comes to the rescue. Do not underestimate the power of a good brainstorming session with your girl group: They may work in another industry, but they have your back and will use every resource they have to inspire your next idea, boost your confidence back up and put you back on track.
You Need To Look Out For Signs From The Universe
There is so much value in having a diverse group of girl friends. Some of them are artists, some of them are bankers, some of them are free spirits with the will to open your eyes to things you may have never seen without them. Nurture these friendships as they will all lead you to your best self. One of my close friends made me see that the universe always has a plan for you, and there are signs everywhere. When you start out in an industry, fresh from university, you may not be very sensitive to anything else than the steps to take you there, but as you progress you end up seeing these little things the universe throws your way. Every step, every job, every low and every high, every set back and every success is teaching you something, leading you somewhere. When I started my business I collected these signs: the office’s location, the new team member, the new client. There are no coincidences, you just have to listen.
Female Mentoring Will Help You Climb Mountains
Your friends can be your mentors, and your mentors can be your friends. I was extremely lucky to experience both, and they have helped me grow my career twice faster than I would have on my own. I explain this with the not-so-secret power of female mentorship. Years ago, as an intern I would look up to the agency’s director and think this was the life I wanted. I wanted the position, the responsibility, the power and the freedom. It was truly inspirational to see women at such high levels of the ladder, leading their teams with drive, empathy and generosity to create a better world, and I knew this was my ultimate goal. Many of my friends have had female mentors who inspired them to be better leaders, and who have shaped their career choices. Having a female role model who takes you under their wing early on can have a hugely positive impact on your career - and inspire you for life.
Never Underestimate The Power of No
This is something I would have dreaded a few years ago. Saying no was just not an option if you wanted to progress in your career. But as a business owner, it becomes a crucial option in your decision making, and a duty. You may be struggling with finding clients, and deep down desperate to keep the invoicing rolling, but take a minute nonetheless to assess where you are going, and why you are saying yes to projects. You are steering the ship, and should know which direction you are going. Is this potential project leading you in the right direction? One essential lesson I learned from my working girl friends was the power of no. If you’re not feeling it, something’s not right. When you know you’re worth a lot and are offered too little, say no. When you know your talent and are wasting away at a job that is slowly burning you down, just quit. When you’re looking for clients but are offered a deal that could hurt your brand, turn it down. Something better will come along.
Female friendship and mentoring are not trends, they are a part of a long-existing system that has helped architect outstanding careers and brilliant lives. Don’t hesitate to use the power of your girl group and ask, share and listen. If you need a boost or some re-affirming, this is where you can find it.