Money saved has to go on the Technology Pack, £1,995 that includes an HDD satellite navigation MMI high system, so the doting dads do not have to ask for directions when they get lost again, Audi parking sensors to avoid any embarrassment at the rugby club and an electric tailgate for sheer cool factor as doting dad presses the button to close the tailgate as he saunters away to the touch line. Just be aware, the pressure needed to stop the tailgate from closing, in case doting dad has not quite got his Barbour coat out, is a lot, as I found out when my co-driver pressed the button while I was playing in the vast 540 litres of boot space (that increases to 1,560 litres when the rear seats are folded flat). Thankfully the tailgate did stop before I was chopped in two. Well, if men can exaggerate why can’t we?

Finally it was the turn of the 2.0 litre TFSI 7-speed S tronic automatic minus paddles quattro petrol engine to do its bit and I have to say, I really enjoyed this drive. Top speed is 137 mph, 0-62 in 7.2 seconds yet fuel consumption still a respectable 33.2 mph with CO2 emissions in at 197g/km. That will definitely pay for the panoramic sunroof at £1,100, I thought.

Even though Audi claim only 2% of customers who buy a 4x4 actually use this function, equipping the Q5 with Audi’s quattro permanent all wheel drive with ESP, ensures that on the rare occasions when 4x4 capability is required, i.e. wrong type of snow or leaves, the children will still get to school.

To mask out doting dad’s aggressive driving skills, thus avoiding any potential carsickness in the children, insist he opts for the Audi drive select option with both damper control and dynamic steering. This will allow him to change the car’s characteristics like the suspension settings, steering, accelerator and gearshifts on the S tronic via the dashboard-mounted controls to suit the ever-changing road conditions. At £1,700 it will be the best money you would have ever invested.

As doting dad plays with his multi-function adjustable steering wheel, realises the light and rain sensors come on automatically, and bangs on about the Driving Information System being the best thing since sliced bread, you can blast out McFly’s new album from the 10-speakers Audi concert sound system. If only you had paid the £525 you could have had the Bang and Olufsen sound system guaranteed to make your voice sound better than Leona Lewis.

Or you could contemplate whether paying the £2,275 for heated or cooled front seats were a tad over the top. Perhaps the climate cup holder would have been a better option at £100.

Whatever, here you are sitting in one of the most comfortable cars to date, laden with technology to keep him-in-doors amused for hours and you, plus your precious cargo of children, safe thanks to numerous safety devices, airbags galore and that all important ABS with EBD and ESP with brake assist, in case doting dad gets carried away.

A remarkable car from a truly remarkable manufacturer.

A must-have on doting dad’s Christmas wish list. For, while he is at work, you can take possession and indulge in the ultimate yummy-mummymobile!

Jackie Violet – Female First