We’ve all been dumped. Be it face-to-face, by phone, or – God forbid – by text, being dumped sucks. But it sucks even more when they don’t even bother to come up with a good reason why. To celebrate the release of the upcoming action comedy The Spy Who Dumped Me, starring Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon, we’re taking a look at some of the absolute worst excuses we’ve had for being dumped.

Which of these have you fallen victim to?

Which of these have you fallen victim to?

“I need to focus on school/work right now/I don’t have the time for you”

This is an easy excuse that many people use to sound as though they have been prioritizing you ‘too much’. It sounds like a somewhat valid reason, but it’s not your fault that you ‘distracted’ them in order for them to have so little time for other priorities. They make it sound like you deserve all this attention and time, but they can’t give it to you due to the other demands in their life such as school and work. In The Spy Who Dumped Me, Mila Kunis’ character gets dumped because her boyfriend ‘doesn’t have the time for her’ – it then turns out that the reason for this is because he’s secretly a spy.

“I like you TOO much”

This excuse is super-lame because it’s intended to make you feel good, but in reality, it can confuse you more. A normal person would want affection and love, so it doesn’t make sense that this person believes that liking someone too much is a reasonable reason to break up with someone. Basically, whoever tells you this is lying.

“I don’t want you to get hurt/I don’t want to hurt you”

Basically, people who do this are trying to make themselves feel better because at least they’re sparing you the pain of a bad breakup. In reality, they are giving themselves an easy out, and tricking themselves by saying that they are doing it for you and acting like they care about your feelings. This excuse is total BS.

“I’m not ready for a relationship/I’m scared of commitment”

Ah, the excuse of choice for the commitment-phobe. A person can be afraid of serious commitment, but if they truly liked you, they wouldn’t break up with you for this immature cop-out. This puts a lot of fault on you, making it sound like you are moving way too fast, and want to get married or something. Don’t settle for less, and definitely don’t fall for this shoddy excuse.

"Our Zodiac Signs don't match"

We all like to check our horoscopes now and then, but astrological incompatibility is a pretty damn weak reason to break up with someone. Let’s be honest here, it’s probably down to something else, and they’re too scared to come out with it. In which case they’re not worth your damn time anyway. And it’s got nothing to do with the fact that they’re a Leo.

Absolutely nothing at all

In 2018, “ghosting” has become an increasingly popular way to end relations with someone. So much so, that it’s become known as the Tinder Match method of choice. It involves a complete cut off of communication, not responding to calls, social media or messenger pigeons. This is probably the worst one out of the lot of them, just because it makes you that much angrier than if they’d actually bothered to come up with a decent excuse in the first place. Like, maybe, “I’m a spy”.

Check out the trailer for The Spy Who Dumped Me here:

The Spy Who Dumped Me is in cinemas now!

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