Lil Xan wants to quit music following Mac Miller's death.
Lil Xan
The 'Betrayed' rapper has been left devastated after his "hero" passed an away from an apparent overdose on Friday (07.09.18) and he is now planning to "retire" at the end of his current recording contract.
Speaking on Adam22's podcast 'No Jumper', he said: "The Mac s**t is crazy.
"I've been crying in my apartment, Mac didn't die, Mac didn't overdose...
"When your hero dies, f**k that s**t, I don't want to make music no more... [I'm] retiring after this contract."
Xan recalled the last time he saw Mac, at his last show, which was the "third or fourth time" they had hung out together, but there's one memory that will always stay with him.
He explained: "Before I left, he was like 'Be safe.' People say that you know, like 'be safe.' But he grabbed me, and he pulled me back and he was like 'No I mean BE SAFE.' That almost made me cry, that's my idol right there.
"I keep thinking about that, how it resonated in my head, how those were his last words."
The 22-year-old rapper admitted he is desperate to be "sober" and claimed he'd be in rehab if he didn't have working commitments.
He said: "I want to be clean and sober, but that s**t is hard.
"I want to get sober now, completely sober, but its so hard. I just want to be off everything. I want to be like a normal person.... if I didn't have a tour coming up I would be in rehab right now."
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