The summer holidays are long gone and feel like a million miles away until the next, however, it’s been wonderful and just a little stressful to have the kids at home all the time. 

Parenting on Female First

Parenting on Female First

Taking care of the kids every need can sometimes be exhausting although you wouldn’t exchange the experience for anything. What better time to take care of yourself as well, than now. Recharge your batteries, indulge in some me time, take time to catch up with your girlfriends or partner, luxuriate in that warm bath, do something just for yourself. The more you can rejuvenate and energise yourself, the more you will have to give back.

A start of a new school term can also be a good time to step back and reassess your own sub-conscious beliefs and self-talk, which in turn has a tremendous effect on how you relate to and nurture your child’s self-worth and self-belief. 

Below are a few pointers by master NLP practitioner, Johneal Rouse, on enlightening parenting and planting positive seeds of self-esteem in your child that honours your truth as well as theirs.

  • Recognise (and consistently reiterate the message) that your child is inherently worthy and lovable, and that this is not based on their doing things right or the way you want them done at any time. Even where you need to correct, or pull your child up for inappropriate behaviour, doing this in a manner that validates them as being worthy and lovable. For example, instead of ‘you are wrong and should feel ashamed of yourself’, it is more helpful to say ‘I did not like what you did for these reasons, and we know you can do so much better’.  The child can feel confident that they can make mistakes and still feel strong in who they are.
  • Watch your own negative talk or self-judgement - be attentive to your self-talk and recognise you can shift and change any limited self-concepts, and thinking that doesn’t support you.  Choose to release thinking that says you cannot have it all.  Negative self-talk is not your true intelligence and does not come from your intuition (or Higher self), which is always positive, loving and gentle.
  • Plant positive seeds of Self-esteem.  Allow children to realise that they are magnificent at their core and that everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are in fact an opportunity to grow, and when they do err, you can encourage them to clean up after, to admit to making mistakes and to commit to doing better.
  • Shift to Intention and Vision - Practice being intentional and encourage your child to develop a vision for what he or she prefers.  To believe in themselves and what they want to be, do and have, as opposed to being at the effect of what others say and do.
  • Drop Mental Filters and be present - Recognise that we are all habituated to seeing the world, including our children, as we are (that is through our filters, beliefs, experiences), not necessarily as children really are.  Allow yourself to become more present to their innate wisdom, innocence, light as well as talents and gifts. Recognising their innate gifts and abilities will serve their highest interest and is as important as developing their minds and having external knowledge (including education and your wisdom and experience) transferred to them.
  • Nurture and Appreciate your child’s uniqueness - there is tremendous pressure imposed on children by society today to conform to external standards.  Let them know that who they are is wonderful, even if growing up in today’s world is challenging, or if she finds a part of the curriculum or schooling experience more difficult. By taking time to celebrate his unique differences, you are encouraging him to bring out the best from within.
  • Celebrate yourself! You are doing a fantastic job of being there for your little one(s). Enjoy this moment of the journey.  Including all the joy, the endearing moments, the busyness and activity as well as all the highs and lows that being a parent entails. Savour these blessings and the gift of your child. 
  • Through your unconditional love and letting them know they are inherently worthy of love, they will find the confidence to face their insecurities and challenges around growing up, settling in to new environments, making new friends, and their studies.
  • If a behaviour pattern or an issue you are facing with a child is causing concern, hypnotherapy can help you as a parent (or can help your child) with accessing inner resources and creating positive change. Hypnotherapy can be very effective with a resolving a variety of issues including with increasing self esteem, increasing confidence and releasing past hurt or trauma.

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