Flirt Your Way to Success
Offering her top tips on ‘social flirting’ is leading body language expert and Invisalign ambassador, Judi James.
Judi says, “Flirting is not always about fluttering your eye lids and catching a stranger’s eye. It can also be used in social, non-sexual situations such as an office environment or at a friend’s party.
“This oiling of the community mechanics is something we like to call ‘social flirting’. When we feel threatened or confronted with a competitive environment we often flirt to create harmony and a sense of peace.
“A prime example is the office Christmas party jungle, where social flirting, including the batting of lashes and the laughing at poor jokes, is used to maintain peace, forge bonds and impress our colleagues and boss with our networking expertise. Here are my top ten tips to help you shine with confidence at any Christmas shindig.”
First Impressions are Everything
People will make up their mind about you within the first few seconds of your arrival, so make sure you always enter any room or situation with a smile. A smile is also said to be one of the facial features most remembered by men (31 per cent) and women (40 per cent), that’s according to a nationwide survey by Invisalign.
Follow My Lead
Mimic the host’s greeting rituals, which can often be a handshake, but if you see people being more sociable and friendly, then follow suit. Try to avoid kissing on the cheek if you don’t know someone too well, as this can sometimes blur the lines between sociable and improper behaviour. If you accidentally go for the cheek, do both right and left cheek and then stand back, smiling with confidence.
Join the Pack
When you’re mingling, try to approach groups of three or more. Singles might look like they need rescuing but that’s not your job, you’re here to make an impression. Head for the largest gap and start to mirror the group’s dynamic in terms of body language to help you to integrate without interrupting anyone who is speaking.
Smile!
Always smile at the people on either side of you as it will signal empathy and rapport and be a form of silent greeting before you get to the introduction.
Actively Listen
Social flirting means you’ll need to actively listen, as this will create an impression of attractive confidence, social charisma and attentiveness. Always plan your small-talk, but keep in mind the best social flirting will entail interest in the other person.
Eye Contact
Always maintain eye contact when people are talking to you. Do not gaze off into the distance and lose focus - people can spot boredom a mile off.
Polite Exit
If you want to leave your current group, wait until there is a natural dip in conversation and then excuse yourself with a reassuring nod and smile to the last speaker.
Body Language
The height you hold your drink will signal the correct level of social flirting. Too low and you might look submissive or miserable. Too high and it will start to look like a barrier. The correct height is about rib-height, which will show you’re sociable, confident and friendly.
Desire to Kiss
If you want to make the shift from social flirting to some genuine flirting, the trick is to notch up the intensity of your signals. To convert a polite party ‘listening’ smile and straightforward eye contact to something more sexual you would soften the eye expression and lower your chin slightly. The killer technique then is to do the eye-flick, meaning you keep your eyes on theirs as they talk but ‘flick’ your eye-gaze down to their mouth at regular intervals, smiling subtly after glancing at their mouth to register approval and a subliminal desire to kiss.
Time to Say Goodbye
When it’s time to leave the party, ensure you say goodbye to as many people as possible and especially those you had a direct conversation with – it is a common courtesy and won’t be forgotten.
Judi adds, “If there’s one thing to take away from these tips, it’s that a smile can work wonders on your confidence and those people around you! People like being around others who appear confident in their skin, and a lot of the time this is shown through a smile.
“No matter how friendly and interested you may be, trying to hide your smile sends off signals that can alienate others, and even turn them off - having a straight smile can encourage confidence and help you earn some social kudos and even bag that date you have been after.”
What are your top tips for flirting success? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below or tweeting us @FemaleFirst_UK
Cara Mason @cara_mason