We all suffer the January blues and it can even extend to our relationships so Zoosk and Relationship Expert Sam Owen have stepped in to guide you and your partner to make 2013 the year of romance.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

1 - Commit to spending time together

All relationships require ongoing nurturing, some of which comes from spending quality time together.  A few weeks spent apart won’t matter much but if you spend most weeks living separate lives, you will begin to drift apart.  Spend quality time with your partner every week.  Stick a specific date and time into your diary for a ‘date night’ if you need to.  That ‘date night’ could involve a night at home over a candle-lit dinner or a day at the museum,  or time spent in the park, or playing something like crazy golf.  Be creative, mix it up and make it achievable on a weekly basis, i.e. it doesn’t have to be extravagant or costly.

2 – Be simple in your intimacy 

Simple intimacies should be utilised on a daily basis, e.g. holding hands, putting your arms around one another, cuddling, and looking affectionately into each other’s eyes.  Closeness and intimacy are linked to good health and longevity and are vital to the success of your relationship. 

3 – Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

By communicating our relationship needs, fears, wants, likes and dislikes, we give our partner the ability to honour these needs and we feel heard.  Sometimes you may have to repeat your message several times before it is acted upon but if you never communicate your relationship needs and goals then you can’t expect to create the relationship you long for.  Your partner’s not a mind reader!  Communicate openly.

4 - Do things for your partner that you know they will appreciate

If you commit to doing things for your partner that you know will make them happy and make them feel loved, chances are they’ll do things for you that they know will make you feel happy and loved.  Think back to how committed you were to doing things to make your partner happy in the early days of your relationship.  They still deserve that attention to detail, that commitment to their happiness.  Do they like being fed specific home-cooked meals or being given a massage?  Do they like a specific magazine you can buy for them as a surprise?  Do they have difficult family members that you struggle to get on with but you know it would make them very happy if you made the effort to have good relations with them?  Do something every so often, simply to make your partner happy.

5 - Take responsibility for your own happiness

Couples can fall into the trap of expecting their partner to fulfil all of their needs.  This can place an unnecessary burden on your relationship, kill the romance and in turn increase the dissatisfaction you feel in the relationship when it isn’t giving you all that you mistakenly think it should.  Remember that you are still independent, still an individual.  Be sure to maintain a healthy balance between doing things with your partner and doing things for yourself, by yourself and just with your own social circle.  You will then appreciate the contribution your partner makes to your life, much more.

Zoosk.co.uk is the romantic social network that helps members create and share their romantic journeys, with millions of members from around the globe enjoying the service each month. Features include Couple Profiles – a dedicated place for couples to create, store and share relationship milestones and memories on a joint profile with their friends.

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