The 'Weather God' has struck again. He is succeeding against the 'Fun God', the 'Sex God' (my my, he really is one) or it could be the 'Infidelity God' (probably the more appropriate description).
Sex on Female First
I tried again to meet up with Flood Guy, simply because we can't put each other down. We talk every day and have done since September. We've realised the Gods are against us, but that was turning into a joke. We gave our relationship up as a bad job after the hideous floods in September (Real Life Stories: Diary of a Mistress Part XVII). We tried again during the hideous floods in November (Real Life Stories: Diary of a Mistress Part XXIII). We met up briefly over the Christmas holidays for a 'chat' and an ironic walk by the swollen river during another flood. And we arranged to meet this week.
Our chat made us realise we do like seeing each other, if we can get past his fear of being caught, and his paranoia that Mother Nature is out to get us, we could well have a fantastic time. But they have struck again. This time – snow! Bad snow! Welcome to the sunny North!! So, I think we'll either only catch up during the summer months, or we'll have to give it up completely. Such a shame, he's so hot it makes me cry!
During the Christmas holidays I had that brief moment of 'Do I want a single guy around' again. I do this a handful of times during the year, mainly at Christmas and New Year, Valentine's Day, bank holiday Mondays and family occasions. It doesn't last long, but it usually has me catching up with my emails on a singles site.
This time I met up with a great guy. He was older than I normally choose, but he could string a sentence together, liked the same things as me and seemed the perfect gentleman. Older guys usually are, and they are a pleasure to be around. He was – for two whole dates. We went out for drinks the first night, then spent the day together on the second date, with lunch, a walk by the river, and some very lovely kissing – he certainly knew how to do that.
We arranged to meet the following week, and he asked me to his place so he could cook dinner. I don't normally go to a guys house so soon. I feel very uncomfortable on their territory when I don't know them well and, after a couple of very scary moments in my dating life, I prefer to meet somewhere neutral and safe before I move things on. I also take weeks to move things from friendship to more with my married friends. I don't see what the rush is these days, but every 'single' guy seems to be hell bent on jumping into bed at the earliest moment. Even though I'm very specific about the 'I don't do this for sex, and I'm not looking for a friend with benefits', they seem to mishear that.
So, all was going well, I thought. We made plans for the next date, but he was pushing for me to go to his place, and to stay over, I said no. He pushed me again, I still said no. The following day he pushed me again, no was the reply. I made suggestions to go to the movies, to go for dinner, maybe try a comedy club, go across to the Lakes for the day, everything I could possibly think of to steer him away from the 'I'll cook and we'll fool around' conversation he was adamant we were having.
Eventually he asked outright. I guess he had to, he's a man with a healthy sex drive, and was clearly looking for more than dating. So we had the chat that night.
'I'm really not comfortable coming to your house this week. Can we do it another night? Maybe go out somewhere instead?'
'I want some sex!'
'Oh!! I'm not ready for sex yet, I hardly know you. I've seen you twice, I've known you just over a week. I would prefer to wait until I'm ready, and I know you better.'
'I want some sex!'
'Right, I can see where this is going. I don't want to have sex, I prefer to wait at least a couple of weeks.'
'I want some sex! I've seen you twice now. What's the delay?'
'There's no delay for any reason other than I prefer to know who is in me.'
'Have you got the clap or something?'
'I hope you find the woman you're looking for, it's clearly not me! Good luck.'
So, I'm not off the 'dating married men' market this time around. I sometimes wonder if what I do is right, if I am fooling myself into thinking the married men I meet are a better option, but then I try again with the single market and realise I'm more than happy where I am. I love where I am. And I love that I'm not desperately hunting for one of these creatures to call my own. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate men (as he accused me of, just before he slammed the phone down on me). I am not 'damaged' and I am going to settle down one day, but in the meantime I'll enjoy who I date, I won't lower my standards, and I won't jump into bed with the first guy who buys me lunch, just because he's single and available. He usually is for a reason!
Karen uses dating site IllicitEncounters.com