10 Things you'll recognise if you’re dating someone who hates tea AND coffee

21 September 2020

We thought we would take a look at what partners have to endure if their loved one hates anything warm in a mug.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Your family and friends think they are strange- No matter how long you've been together- they still think it's odd that when they ask 'do you want a brew?' and your lover replies with 'I'll just have water, thanks.' Your folks look on with pity like your partner has had a really misspent youth.

You've tried and tried to get them into the stuff- When you make a round of hot drinks or just one for yourself, you always ask if they want one on the off chance they have changed their mind and now love a good cuppa.

Coffee shop trips aren't all that easy- You know what you want before you enter the café, but your SO will survey the whole menu before making their choice. It's generally some weird concoction of fruit that takes ages to prepare- while your brew waits- and gets cold.

You can't ever buy them a mug for a gift- The go-to present if you're stuck on Birthdays and Christmas- but you know that it'll be a total waste of money or used for something other than what it was designed for - like a pen holder. Sacrilege.

Your BAE is always ready to leave after dessert- You want to stay for a coffee when you go out for a meal but they just want the bill and for you to save a fiver and drink something hot at home.

They won't even drink hot chocolate- You've accepted they don't like the taste of coffee or tea- but everyone loves a hot chocolate right? Not your person. They like cold drinks only.

You can't share in the joy of a good brew- That pleasure you get from the first taste of really good quality cup of coffee or tea is totally wasted on your partner.

You miss out on tea and talk time- Because your lover doesn't flick on the kettle as they come through the door, the concept of a brew and banter doesn't come under their radar.

They see making a coffee or tea as a chore- Waiting for the kettle to boil, the bag to brew and stirring in the milk is too much hard work so they no longer ask you what you want to drink and just give you whatever drink they're having. A glass of water is far less effort, you'll admit- but it doesn't taste nearly as good.

They will never know the comfort of a hot drink on a cold day- You wonder how your SO makes it through winter without craving a warm mug between their fingers when it's freezing outdoors.

Tea for two- Is really an ocean of tea for you and a side serving of something else cold and wet for your partner.

Afternoon teas are an embarrassment- You go for the tea, your BAE goes straight for the sandwiches and cakes- but the waiter/ress finds it unfathomable that you would pay to have an afternoon tea without the... tea.