Siobhan Copland, matchmaker at Catchmecupid.co.uk is back to help our readers with their love and dating dilemmas! Today she is advising a woman who finds that she talks a lot about herself on dates.
Relationships on Female First
'I am very aware that I talk a lot about myself and I am worried that on dates it might put men off. How can I stop/ reduce this if it's a habit I have fallen into for nearly thirty years??'
Siobhan says: The first thing is it’s great that you are being self-aware, most people spend most of the time, thinking about the other persons actions, than their own. However the key thing here is also the use of the word worrying, your worrying could be what is causing you to talk so much in the first place.
It’s natural to be nervous on a first date especially, and often you may feel you want to avoid awkward silences. Learn firstly to relax. And ask open ended questions, which will lead your date to talk more about themselves, and allow you to show more of an interest for example rather than saying. Do you like travelling? You could ask where do you like to go to get away?
This could lead them to say a particular place they may visit frequently, or the type of holiday they enjoy. And will give you the opportunity to ask more questions following this.
There may be moments of silence, but learn to feel comfortable with them, smile, take a sip of your drink, or a bite to eat during those moments. And allow him the opportunity to ask questions.
Let’s face it if he doesn’t ask many questions, he’s probably not that interested, or pretty dull.
If you do find yourself going off on a bit of a tangent talking about yourself, be honest with your date and say ‘ I do apologize I’m talking far too much about myself, I’m a little nervous you see, but I’d really like to hear more about you’. Make light of the situation, I’m sure your date has their habits too, and will be understanding.
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