Why is getting married the easy part?
We are delighted to introduce a new expert on the panel here at Female First to answer your readers dilemmas! Julie-Anne Shapiro is an International Love & Relationship Expert and today she is answering the tricky question of how to maintain a relationship within marriage!
Reader asks:
Why is getting married so easy and staying married so hard?
Julie Says:
Firstly, getting married isn’t necessarily easy. For many people finding someone to spend their life with is incredibly difficult as they keep experiencing the same old patterns for example meeting the same types of men or having their heart broken over and over again.
When you do meet the love of your life, it is wonderful. At first you are basking in each other’s love and can’t get enough of that person 24/7. The feeling of being in love is the best feeling in the world. On top of this the hormones are racing and this is the time you spend a lot of time in the bedroom!
Everything feels amazing and you decide to get married. The ecstasy may continue for some time. But sooner or later the challenges of life will arise. The everyday details of life are present – paying the bills, going to work, keeping the house and dealing with outside influences such as family members. If couples decide to have children this adds a whole new level of responsibility.
Challenges such as a shortage of money or trying to juggle work and family while maintaining a relationship including a sexual relationship, can create pressure and tension.
Meanwhile, one or both partners may start to feel unseen, unheard or unappreciated and resentment builds which leads to conflict and hostility. They may also start to feel disappointed in the relationship or that this isn’t what they signed up for.
If these feelings are not addressed, one or both partners may start to look for attention elsewhere which can lead to affairs causing irreparable damage.
To successfully navigate all of the responsibility and the challenges and conflicts that arise, it is essential for both partners to have similar core life-values and life-vision. Life values are what each partner is committed to and what’s important to them. Life-vision is what they each want to create and experience in life and where they see themselves going. When these are aligned, it creates a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
It is also vital that each partner is able to communicate effectively with the other by speaking their truth and stating what they need rather than expecting the other person to magically know. The best relationships contain healthy respect, appreciation for the other person and each person making the other and the relationship a priority but not the ONLY thing in their life. Nobody can be or wants the pressure or responsibility of trying to be somebody else’s sole source of happiness 24/7!
Men and women each have their own unique language with the way they think, listen and speak. By learning about these differences, they can learn how to better approach and respond to each other in a way that gets them what they want and not only keeps but deepens the love, attraction, connection and intimacy for a relationship that lasts a lifetime.
Bio:
Julie-Anne Shapiro is an International Love & Relationship Expert, Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through private coaching (can be taken via Skype from anywhere in the world), dynamic live events and homestudy programs.
www.magnetizinglove.com
email: [email protected]
tagged in Marriage Love children Family Relationship