It has been reported that actor and former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn’t formally ‘terminated’ his marriage, despite seven years of separation.
Relationships on Female First
In 2011, the scandal broke that Schwarzenegger had allegedly had an affair with their maid and fathered a child with her. His wife of 25 years, Maria Shriver, promptly filed for divorce. However, recent news reports have revealed that the divorce hasn’t progressed any further, and although the couple are living apart and have both been seeing other people, neither are supposedly in a rush to finalise the process and formalise their break-up.
It’s not uncommon for couples to split up but to delay a divorce. If the financial matters are fairly straight-forward and the pair are living apart quite harmoniously, the thought of having to go through the divorce process can seem like an unwanted and expensive headache. Why bother? And why threaten an amicable arrangement by dragging lawyers and money into the mix?
And, for some couples, remaining married for a period of time and not rushing to divorce can certainly be the right choice – a relationship takes a lot of investment of both time and effort and the decision to move on is a significant one which shouldn’t necessarily be rushed.
However, drifting apart and failing to formalise the spilt with a divorce can create some issues, and the delay can prejudice the financial positions of one or both of the spouses for a number of reasons.
Firstly, it means a lack of financial oversight and control. As a married couple, you still have significant joint assets. One of you could be living in the marital home but failing to pay bills on time, running up debts for the both of you. Similarly, living apart but still being married could mean that one half of the couple takes the separation as an opportunity to start moving money around and even hiding assets, so that when the divorce does eventually come, the joint pot is a lot smaller.
There is also an increased chance that circumstances could change the longer you’re apart. For example, when you first separate you could both be in good jobs, earning a higher than average wage. Over the period of a couple of years, one partner could be made redundant, meaning that your divorce arrangement may have to include provision to support your ex-spouse – an added financial burden which wasn’t there when you first split.
Similarly, living apart may mean you’re just relying on your own salary and naturally, your standard of living may fall. When it comes to a divorce negotiation, it can be hard to argue for a higher maintenance payment, as you’ve been living within your own means for perhaps a few years.
Of course, divorce doesn’t have to be a painful and messy process. Nowadays there are a lot of alternative options for couples who want to move on but preserve their relationship – from mediation to our option, The Divorce Surgery. The reality is that many couples have no interest in a court room drama and simply want to draw a line under their relationship in a fair and dignified way.
Samantha Woodham, Barrister and Co-Founder and CEO of The Divorce Surgery
tagged in Split