This week I've been learning how to be a dominatrix. Not because I need to be for a specific partner, and not because I plan to go into business, but just because I fancied it. Being known as a 'Serial Mistress' tends to get me a lot of followers on Twitter who assume I am a 'Mistress' as opposed to a mistress. I get requests every day to take on a slave or two, and very often I am offered presents to talk to them, never mind meet them! It's not what I would ever consider as a role in life, and I enjoy what I do too much to give it all up to pretend to spank virtual slaves, but it made me curious about the world of BDSM, especially following the Fifty Shades phenomena.
Sex on Female First
I dabbled many moons ago with one partner. I think I was going through my man-hating phase and assumed it was a great way to release some pent up frustration and anger. That is never a good reason to embark on tying someone's bits up so tight that they go blue! We split and I decided it really wasn't for me. I assumed all 'Subs' would be like him, wanting to dress up as a maid to clean my house, and be spanked for leaving a speck of dust, but they aren't. There are so many aspects to BDSM, I can't possibly cover them all in a short time, and it usually needs a professional to bring out the full potential of the slave. This is where I failed, but where my good friend Lesley succeeds.
She is a professional Domme and incredibly successful at it. It has bought her a Porsche so she must be doing something right! She's told me before how satisfying it can be, and I've been fascinated with the professional side of things, wanting to know what drives a man of power and great position to pay to be trussed up like a Christmas ham and told to lick mud off shoes. She offered to show me the tricks of the trade (as research of course), and I got the chance to 'watch' for a day.
I have to say, it was exhausting and she deserves ever last penny she earns! In the 12 years she has been doing this job, she has never once had sex with any of these men. She showed me the figures – 89 per cent are married or attached, 5 per cent homosexual, and the remaining 6 per cent are single, heterosexual guys. I was amazed at the huge proportion of men in relationships choosing this route, but it shouldn't come as a surprise. I've always known the mistress (as opposed to the Mistress) is asked to do everything the wife doesn't, but I didn't realise so many were into punishment to such a degree.
Her first client, and my first experience, was a very weedy man, a real Horace Wimp, who needed to fulfil some bizarre fantasy he had to be tied up in sisal rope till it left burn marks on his body. He was suspended from the ceiling – her pulley system is amazing – and proceeded to hang for the full hour while she hurled verbal abuse at him. I had a brief minute with him after his session to ask what he gained from it and find out some of his background. Apparently he's married, but his wife never sees him naked so the burn marks are his little secret, in defiance, because she doesn't pay any attention to him. And the verbal abuse was, in his words, 'what he deserved'. He booked his next appointment, exactly one week later, and left with a spring in his step, off to his huge corporate accountancy practice he has run for over 20 years.
Client number two was 'easy' as Lesley put it. He wanted to be spanked, slapped and stood on in stiletto boots for the hour. I could see she was really putting her back into her work and I was thrilled when she invited me to join in with the spanking. He thoroughly enjoyed having two ladies tend to his needs (no, not that way) and the harder we spanked, the happier he was.
Number three, just before we broke for lunch, brought out the actress in her. She had learnt German especially for her many clients who requested this same scenario. She changed into yet another outfit – a new one for each client – and this time marched into the room, complete with goose-step, as a sexy Nazi. His knees turned to jelly, we could see he was thrilled with the effort she put into her work, and she spent an hour 'examining' him, and play-torturing information out of him. It was all quite bizarre to the untrained eye, but very interesting.
Number four wanted to be a baby and he cuddled her and curled up with his head on her lap for the hour, just having his head stroked. Number five wanted to be put in a latex suit with just two holes for him to breathe through. And the last client of the day, number six, wanted to clean all of her outfits, implements, tools, toys, equipment, in fact the whole room. He came three times a week to pay her to clean for her. She caned his behind three times before the hour was up and he mumbled 'Thank you Mistress' as he left the room.
I was speechless. During the day we'd seen (in no particular order!) a bus driver, an accountant, a managing director, a finance director, a policeman and a teacher! They were all married, all fulfilling deep fantasies they'd always had, and all regular clients who see her at least once a month, and in one case, three times a week!
It was fascinating to see a real professional at work, but I know it's really not for me, even if it would buy me the Porsche. I like my men more in the realms of Christian Grey than Horace Wimp, and no matter how much dust I have in my house I think I'll take care of that myself!
It has made me wonder how many of the married men I've dated over the years were actually secretly meeting a professional dominatrix to be punished, tortured and spanked but didn't tell me, never mind the wife!
Karen uses dating site IllicitEncounters.com
tagged in Love relationships cheating Real Life Story Affair Mistress