Discuss what you're wearing
Praise the host for his cremated dinner
He cannot wear anything white- for obvious reasons and she has to be mindful of the length of her skirt- if the only 'seats' left are picnic blankets- she might give the other guests an eyeful.
Bring too much
You spend ages in the barbecue aisle at the supermarket picking up meat so you don't turn up empty handed- only to find that everyone has done the same. You discuss ways to ask for it back at the end of the night so your joint account doesn't take too much of a hit.
Moan about the lack of chairs
You are that couple that always turn up late to everything- which has its upsides- such as you don't have to stay as long- but it also means you have nowhere to sit. You resort to leaning on each other at regular intervals for some respite. To others you look like the meat hasn't agreed with you and people start suggesting you go to the toilet.
Bitch about the food
You secretly think the meat is too tough and overdone, the cuts aren't good enough and that they could have put out more nibbles in the interim because no-one thought to bring anything that wasn't from an animal. But you lie and tell the chef that everything is cooked to perfection.
Judge others
You have little digs at people who turn up and say things like 'she's got a nerve coming here' 'I'm surprised he turned up after what he's gone through' and 'does she realise her knickers are showing?' in hushed tones. It makes you feel better about your petty arguments at home.
Get messy
You both tuck into the free food with gusto and end up with sauce down your summery outfits and all around your face hoping that they have put out enough napkins for the duration. It's always fun to mess with your partner and not tell them that they have black, chargrilled bits in their teeth till you get home and have been smiling and talking with them in all night.
Get tipsy
You both see the sun, the outdoors and the copious amounts of meat as a reason to join in an have a few- but you warn each other to take it easy as the lack of carbs to soak it up makes you both more giddy than usual.
Leave early
Once the sun has gone down and the food has gone- there is really no point in staying, so you come up with polite excuses to leave and steal your meat back.
tagged in couple BBQ Supermarkets