Interparcel has identified the things that make your day worse, so we take a look at how this affects you in a relationship.
Traffic!
Being tired/exhausted- You have no energy for sex and no inclination to leave the house, so you end up scrolling through the TV for one crap TV show after another until you settle on the old faithful Judge Judy or The Big Bang Theory rerun.
Having a petty argument with spouse/partner- Neither of you really knows what you are fighting for but you have begun- so you'll finish- or bear a grudge for days…
Bad weather- You can't go out and do anything- however if the sun was shining you would probably struggle to think of something and say it was too hot anyway. Then close the curtains and live like bats for the day.
Traffic- One of you tries to stay calm- after all someone is having a much worse day than you somewhere. But the constant wheel banging, finger drumming and questioning does take its toll until you have to open the windows to let the steam out from both your ears.
Waking up late- One of you has not set their alarm- and they are to blame for everything else that goes wrong for the rest of the day.
No one cleaning up after themselves- And your joint space gradually turns from tidy and presentable to land fill in a week- until someone tells you they are popping round for a coffee. S**T!
A burst pipe or broken appliance- Just as your joint account is hitting an all-time low- something goes in your house and you have to prize with what's left. Then you have to live on beans on toast for the next month. Eventually you could fuel your house with the gas from your combined farts.
Receiving bills- Pay day is the equivalent of getting both your pay cheques and setting them alight. It would be lovely to have a dirty weekend away or invest in some new lingerie- but guess what? You can't afford to- so you settle for your most provocative granny pants and sex on the couch to add a bit of spice to the relationship.
Finding scratches on your car- And your partner thinks it's a really good idea to lecture you on where you park- not what you need to hear right now!
Spilling something down your shirt/top- The top that you spent so much time washing and ironing- and just because they couldn't be bothered to take it off or wear an adult bib you now have to de-stain it, wash it and iron it all over again. The hole in your washing machine gets more penetration than you do.
Your partner cancelling a plan- You have been planning it for weeks and looking forward to a break from being welded to the couch with a boxset- then they tell you they are working late and you feel like you will never know what a social life looks like again.
Being pooed on by a bird- And your partner tells you it's lucky and then starts dreaming of everything they are going to spend the lottery win on. A bird has just pooed! POOED!
Tripping over- The perfect excuse for the old - 'you fell for me' joke.
Being stuck with no toilet roll- Because he didn't think to replace the one he used and then tossed on the floor. Let the in-house texting begin.
Having a spot/bad skin day- He whips out his fake dermatology qualification and starts poking at area. ' Sorry but the skin under your fingers from when you scratched your ball sack is not compatible with my face!'
Not having any food in the cupboards- Because the fairy who replaces it all is of course- you!
Your partner not texting back- You know he has passed his morning poop/ phone check deadline- because he is like clockwork and still nothing….
Running out of milk- You consider getting a cow for the back garden the rate he drinks it to save you the trip to the corner shop.
Someone overhearing you talk about them- That moment when you are slagging him off to your mum and he hears you- maybe telling him you were talking about your bit on the side would be less hurtful than the actual truth.
Being tagged in an unflattering photo- Really- you want to tell the world that this is who you choose to sleep with?!
Getting a hole in your tights- And if it's in the crotch area your partner thinks it's really funny to seek out your vagina through it and make it even bigger. It's not an invitation!
Bumping into an ex- If you are too friendly- you might show signs of still liking them- if you blank them- you have issues- there is no happy medium here.
Having to work overtime- And another night of quality time is ruined. Masturbating it is.
Queueing for the bathroom- Like girls who live together- your pooping becomes synchronised every day.
Facebook bragging- Check in on your date night- tell everyone that you are away for two weeks and where- you might as well leave the keys in the door and a big 'take what you want' sign in the window.
Your partner accepting an event invitation- So he can get drunk and leave you with his mate's girlfriends whom you should get along with because you all have a vagina. But really they hate you and you fantasize about being back at home watching Judge Judy.
tagged in Lingerie The Big Bang Theory Partner