We have multiple alarms- Every few minutes so we can wake up gradually- if you are not down with that then leave quietly and don't wake us from our in between sleeps.

Don't talk to us

Don't talk to us

We don't speak much in the mornings- Give us some time to get our heads around waking up or we will give you a look that makes you wish you were never born.

Whatever we do say you just ignore- We have a rule that whatever we say to you in the morning should be immediately forgotten- we don't mean it- the morning is making us mad at everything. Don't be offended.

We don't do breakfast- Because that would take time away from sleeping and why would we do that?

We are baffled by happy people in the morning- If you find something funny or are a morning person please keep it to yourself.

We won't get up early to exercise with you- So don't even ask.

We don't give a crap about sunrises- There are very few occasions when our bladder insisted that we see one and all it did was prevent us from having to put the light on. Hurrah.

Morning sex is off the cards- Sex at night- great we're totally up for that- but sex in the morning is never going to happen.


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