AXA found that there are 10 simple things that can help lift the winter gloom and better your relationships as a result! We talk to psychologist Donna Dawson about the reasons such small gestures can make us and our partners feel better!
Relationships on Female First
The top ten little things to make you feel better
Listening to music
Having a walk in the fresh air
A hug
Seeing friends
Spending one to one time with your partner
Watching your favourite TV programme
A cup of tea
An alcoholic drink
Comfort food
Call or text from friend
Why does our mood drop in the winter?
Our mood drops in the winter due to a decrease in the amount of natural light that we receive during the short, dark days of this season. Our bodies need the correct type and intensity of light in order for it to penetrate our skin to produce vitamin D, to regulate our hormones and to synchronise all our daily body rhythms, such as waking, sleeping and eating. Only natural sunlight can do this, not the artificial light that we encounter in buildings, at home and at work. Without enough natural light, our bodies become out-of-sync, hormones become unbalanced, and mood becomes affected. Mood changes can range from feeling down and grumpy, all the way to full-blown depression (associated with “Seasonal Affective Disorder”, or S.A.D.).
What psychological effect can a hug have on a person?
Experiencing a hug can lift our mood because the act of touching the skin stimulates the brain into producing more of the feel-good chemicals, such as ‘serotonin’, which in turn increase our feelings of well-being.
They say friends are a free form of therapy, so how far would you say this is true?
It is very true! Good friends encourage us to open up and talk, they show us empathy and support, and they steer us gently towards options and ways of thinking that we may not have considered. If they criticise us, they (hopefully!) do it tactfully and constructively. They also share their own experiences with us, showing us that we are not alone in our concerns and woes. Good friends are a shoulder to lean on - even cry on – in bad times, and a mate to laugh with during good times.
What does the fresh air do to keep us feeling positive?
Fresh air brings more oxygen into our brains, making us feel more alert and awake, and improving our concentration and response times. Being more aware of your environment also makes you more aware of your choices, and therefore makes you feel more in control – and anything that allows you to feel more in control, increases your self-confidence and positivity. Also, getting out in the fresh air exposes us to more sunlight (even if there is cloud cover), which also acts to lift our mood.
Comfort food is often responsible for crashing and making us feel worse, so how can this elevate moods?
Using comfort foods wisely and in a controlled way can help us to lift our mood without “crashing”. For instance, starting the day with a bowl of porridge (a slow-burning carbohydrate) can actually provide us with enough fuel to get us through to lunch time, without feeling hungry, grumpy or tired. Similarly with lunch: the fuel from other slow-burning carbs such as potatoes, pasta and bread, can help us avoid a mid-afternoon slump. However, if a mid-morning or mid-afternoon slump does occur, a small sugar fix (such as a biscuit or chocolate bar) can provide a spurt of energy to get us through it. The trick, though, is not to overdo it: one biscuit, not half-a packet! Otherwise, too much sugar will create a “sugar high” that is inevitably followed by a “sugar slump”.
Why would people rather turn to a cup of tea than alcohol?
Tea contains a mild form of caffeine (theobromine) which gives a gentle lift (unlike the caffeine jolt that coffee can provide). It also contains an amino acid called “L-theamine”, which creates more alpha brain waves, thus producing a calm-but-alert, productive state of mind. Alcohol, on the other hand, is actually classed as a “depressant”, as after the initial relaxation and euphoria of an alcoholic drink, it acts to slow down the nervous system and lower mood – which is why you can feel worse after the alcohol wears off than you did before drinking. Taking too much tea will only affect your ability to sleep at night, whereas taking too much alcohol can have potentially disastrous consequences, affecting judgement and coordination and poisoning your body. Tea can be drunk at any time of the day, whereas drinking alcohol is normally confined to lunchtimes or evenings. Also, tea is internally warming, which makes us feel cosy and cared for. Tea is traditionally drunk with others, and so the increased sense of sociability that comes with tea-drinking, as well as the friendly chat that accompanies it, will also work to raise our spirits.
How important is texting and calls from friends and family in the winter?
In the winter months, when days are short, dark and cold and we are feeling more down, the tendency is for us to retreat into ourselves and to “hibernate”, both physically and mentally. People reaching out to us through calls and text s can coax us back out of our shells and tempt us to socialise once more. And being in touch with others helps us to avoid the depression that can strike whenever we feel alone or lonely.
Why is one-to-one time important to us in a romantic relationship?
Quality one-to-one time in any relationship (especially a romantic one) can provide the “glue” that binds a couple together; having the time to share your deepest thoughts, feelings and concerns strengthens the mental bond between a couple. Time spent touching (holding hands, stroking, cuddling, massage, kissing, hugging) strengthens the physical bond, as the brain releases the same feel-good chemicals as those experienced when first in love!
How can listening to music or watching your favourite TV programme help?
Using our senses is the quickest and most effective way to either relax or arouse ourselves. Watching your favourite TV programme engrosses you in something that you enjoy, so that problems are forgotten – this allows both body and mind to unwind and relax. When listening to music, sound waves reach the inner ear and produce a vibration that is sent to the brain. The sounds then automatically associate themselves with images, and those images can either be relaxing or exciting. Music can define a mood, feeling or sensation, and can take us through every human emotion (happiness, sadness, nostalgia, tranquillity, etc). As the sense of sound is not as explicit as the sense of sight, our imaginations can be used to help alter our mood. Playing classical or instrumental music while doing something stressful (such as driving) has been shown to help keep us in a relaxed state-of-mind.
How can pets be such a great comfort, even if there is a partner or family member around?
Pets (especially dogs) are constantly loyal, uncomplaining, and uncritical – unlike our partners or family members! Pets provide a silent ear to talk to, and seem to accept and agree with whatever we say to them (again, unlike a partner or a family member). Most importantly, the act of stroking a pet makes you feel better: when the skin is rubbed, it produces hormones and enzymes that boost the immune system and create feelings of well-being. This is true whether you are stroking, or being stroked!
tagged in Friends Partner Relationship winter